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His hand stays for just a moment before slowly unwrapping each finger. His body is so close to mine I can feel his heat, yet he takes another step forward and presses his chest flush to my back. He’s breathing hard, his head dips to the back of my ear, and he inhales. “I’d like you to sit in the chair I was holding for you. It’s a sign of respect for me to seat you.” He exhales, his nose is tracing down from my ear to the crest of my shoulder. This my wolf likes, the hussy. My head tilts to give him better access. “I understand many of these things are new to you. Next time, I’ll explain myself better.”
His nose follows the same path back up, but this time, I feel the tip of his soft, wet tongue trace my pulse point. My knees give, but his hands slam to my hips. “You are distracting me, little one. We need to talk, but I’m finding it very hard to do.” The word hard is punctuated with a slow roll of his hips. Effectively showing me exactly what’s hard. I gasp and try to move forward, but his hands are still at my hips locking me in place. My body stiffens. I’m not prepared for these feelings. I’ve never been in a sexual situation willingly. Sensing my anxiety, he steps back away from me.
“That wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry. If it’s still okay, I’d like you to sit in this chair” —he holds out the original chair— “so we can talk, please.”
How the hell can he be licking my neck like a damn lollipop thirty seconds ago, and now he’s utterly calm? With weak knees, I manage to sit in the chair as he pushes it under the table. Laying my hands on the table, I wait for him to explain what’s happening.
Taking a deep breath, he starts. “Cass has told me a lot about you the past few days. I’d like you to tell me what you told him so it’s all clear. Then I’ll tell you about me. Does that sound good?”
“I suppose. If you won’t be happy with just the stuff Sniffer told you, I can.” I don’t want to go over this shit again.
“Start with why you call him that,” he demands.
“You don’t need to be so growly, Big Guy, I’m fixin’ to answer you,” I smart back. He quirks his eyebrow. “I fell asleep on the beach,” I shrug my shoulders, “when I woke up, he was laying over my back, sniffing my neck, the creeper.” I point at him. “You two need boundaries.”
Now he’s full-on mumbling. I can only hear a few words. “Rip... won’t... hands... fucker!”
“You done yet? I’d like to get this over with. What else do you want to talk about?”
Clearing his throat, “Tell me about your parents. When did they die?” he asks gently.
I motion to him. “I lost them about two weeks after that night.” I laugh a sad laugh. “I keep referring to it as that night. I can’t even call it the night we met, because we didn’t meet. I still don’t know your name. For five years, you’ve been him or he. On bad nights when I prayed you’d come back for me, it was my Mate but never a name.”
He looks miserable. “Masen Black, my name is Masen Black.”
I snap my finger. “Mase, that’s what he called you. I knew I’d heard your name. I just didn’t remember what it was until you just said it. Well, Masen Black, I’m Sophia Brair.”
“I know your name little one, I’ve always known your name. I could never forget it.”
Ouch, why does that hurt so much? Is it the confirmation that he could’ve at any time looked me up, did he ever? Does he know how I lived house to house, hoping the next wouldn’t be worse than the last. Does he know? I have to ask. “Did you know I had no one, that I was lost? Alone?”
He rolls both his lips in, eyes closed, shaking his head. “No baby, I had no idea!” Oh God, I think that’s worse, now I know he never even bothered to look. My hand rubs small circles over my heart. I need this done, I can’t take much more.
“Yeah okay, it was a long time ago, so is there anything else you need? I should really be getting home.”
He reaches over and grabs my hand, holding it between both of his. I’m so confused. I don’t want him to touch me, but I don’t want him to not touch me either.
“Please, let me explain. If you need some time after that, then... we’ll see. I don’t know if I can leave you alone, but we’ll figure something out.”
When I blink, tears fall. “If you can leave me alone? Does that mean I have to leave, find a new school, and new house? Will I be allowed into another pack? Will they know why you made me leave?” My voice cracks. Shit, when did I start to ramble so bad? I’m so busy wondering about the what-ifs I don’t realize he’s moved. I’m scooped up in his arms, and he walks to the side of his porch carrying me. I’m so shocked I let him. It feels nice to be held. He sits on a large swing and rocks us. His forehead rests on the top of my head, rolling it back and forth.
“Please, don’t cry, baby. I’ll fix this, but please don’t cry.” He pulls me closer and begins talking. “That night, as you call it, my life changed. I had been Alpha for a few years. I thought I was in love with Roxa—”
“Please,” I beg. “I don’t want to hear this, please.” I’m tempted to cover my ears like a child.
“Shhh, it’s not what you think, listen. We had gone to another territory. I can’t even remember why, probably to accept a challenge, but my Beta and a few friends tagged along. When we drove through Kentucky, I decided to stop for the night, go to a pub, relax before finishing the drive home. As soon as we made it to the pub, I was anxious, just felt off. When we were leaving, I ran into you.” He squeezes me closer. “I’d never seen anything more beautiful until today when I look at you now.” He strokes my cheek. “When I realized you were my Mate, I didn’t know what to do. I knew you were young and hadn’t even shifted yet. I’ve never to this day heard of finding a Mate before their first shift. I didn’t know if you knew who or what I was to you.” He stops for a moment like he’s gathering strength.
“I left you there on the sidewalk. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. When we were out of sight, I stayed and watched you with your parents. I followed you home. I watched your family for days, trying to find an excuse to make you come with me. I learned everything I could about you and your parents, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take your childhood away. I didn’t want you to have the pressure of being my Luna when you hadn’t even shifted yet. I was afraid I’d scare you. You were so tiny, just a child. I thought you might be twelve or thirteen.”
He’s rubbing his chin on my head, his whiskers snag in my hair. “I thought I was doing what was best for you. I know, now, how wrong I was. I’m so very sorry. I can’t express how sorry I am for letting you go.”
The regret in his voice is clear, but I still don’t understand what he regrets? That I lost my parents? That I was alone, or the fact that he never looked for me? Would he ever have looked if I hadn’t ended up here? There are so many questions. “Would you have ever looked for me if I hadn’t shown up here?” Sadness clear in my tone.
“I’ve been looking for you for two years, little one.” He sounds just as sad as me.
“How is that possible? I never lived more than fifty miles from my childhood home? If that’s true, how did you not find me?”
His arms still hold me, but his hands brush over my arms, legs, back and even my face. His touch is gentle and reverent. “I never knew what pack your family belonged to. I didn’t want to bring you to anyone’s attention. I get challenged as Alpha a few times a year now, but back then, it felt like I was challenged a few times a month. I thought it would put a target on you, have people trying to use you to get to me. The only person who knew I’d found you and the entire situation was Michael, my Beta. So, I waited three years to the day. Then, I left to go get you and your family if they wanted to come.” His hands have stopped moving, and his body grows tense. “When I got out of the car, I knew you were gone, I was sick with worry. I started contacting every pack within five hundred miles, searching. No one knew who you guys were. No pack claimed your family so I made it my mission to check each pack, in case they were hiding you from me. It’s been two years. There hasn’t been one day that’s passed without me thinking of you, wondering where you were.”
