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“You’veneverhad sex. Ever? You’re a virgin?” I sound like I’m in total disbelief, because I am.
“That’s what I just said, Denny.”
I don’t correct his use of the nickname this time. “Um, wow. I had no idea.”
“Yeah, I got that from your shocked expression.”
“I’m just… I mean, you always have girls hanging around you. Most guys would take advantage.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not most guys.”
“Is that why you changed your mind before? Because we don’t have to—I mean, it’s okay, if you’re waiting…or something.” He’s not religious. Maybe it’s a superstitious athlete thing?
Elliot grins unexpectedly. “Come on, Harmon. You were doing such a good job of seducing me.”
I roll my eyes. “You seemed to enjoy it just fine.”
He chuckles. I feel it vibrate through his body and against mine. “Just fine?I’d get hard if you put a Band-Aid on me, Auden. You touching my cock? With your hands? Or with this mouth, like you did last summer?” He rubs his thumb along the length of my lower lip. “I can barely see straight.”
I arch my neck up and kiss him. He groans into my mouth, running one palm down the side of my ribs and resting it on my waist. The skin is calloused and rough, scratching mine erotically. He’s masculine. Potent. Addictive.
More of his weight settles over me as I feel pressure at my entrance. He eases inside slowly but purposefully. Elliot doesn’t pause the way he did last time, keeps pressing in deeper and deeper. I focus on kissing him instead of the intrusion, on the wet heat of his mouth and the swipe of his tongue against mine. Our kiss is greedy and desperate and dirty. He’s possessing my mouth the same way he’s taken ownership of the rest of my body.
Elliot bites my bottom lip. Pain flares and then recedes, alerting me to the fact that I’m not in any pain anywhere else. All I’m experiencing is pleasure. He’s not pushing in; he’s fully inside of me. It feels foreign, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. I feel stretched and full.
“You okay?” he asks, moving from my lips to my neck. He sucks at the skin just below my jaw, possibly leaving a mark.
“Yes,” I whisper back. It’s just the two of us in here, so there’s no need to be quiet, but I feel an urge to protect this moment I’ll never forget: having sex with the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with this way.
“You’re sure?” Elliot’s voice is tight. Tense. He almost sounds like he’s in pain, even though I know he’s not.
I don’t answer; I kiss him. My hands are buried in his hair, but I let them slip. Down the back of his neck and over the bunched mounds of his shoulders, along the length of his back. Tendons shift and strain under my fingers as he holds himself up.
“Move,” I tell him, letting my knees fall all the way open and lifting my pelvis up, forcing some friction between us.
I hand Elliot Reid the final piece of my heart.
He starts moving, and I’m weightless. Thoughtless. I’ve never been more present in one moment than I am right now.
Maybe this is why people call it falling in love. Because when you’re falling, you can’t focus on anything else.
Elliot
I had sex with my best friend last night.
That’s what I’m thinking as Josh goes on and on about how hungover he is. Luke is commiserating. I’m not. I’ve never been a big drinker, and I only had one beer. If I’d had more, I would have lost it the second Auden untied her bikini top. I can’t stop thinking about it. Those triangles of fabrics falling. Her tongue in my mouth and her hands in my hair. The things she said. How hot and wet and tight—
I stand and head for the lake, leaving Josh, Lucas, and Oliver behind. The cold water and breeze help clear my head some. The sight of the boathouse does not.
I want her again. Once wasn’t enough. Twice won’t be either, but she’s leaving tomorrow to visit her mother in New York for some fashion thing, and then she’s returning to California, to start college on the opposite side of the country from me.
Fuck, what the hell was I thinking? I’ve been tempted to cross that line with her for years—since I met her. I’ve always known if there was one girl to make room for, it was her. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but that’s become a flimsier and flimsier excuse. What would I have done if she’d met some other guy? If she’d done what we did last night with someone else?
College was a chance to erase the physical distance that’s separated us for most of the time we’ve known each other. She could have picked a school on the east coast. I couldn’t go just anywhere. I had coaches, rankings, rivals, teammates, and team funding to consider. We discussed college, but always in the vacuum of our own individual plans and hopes, never in relation to each other.
Auden never gave me the impression not staying in California was even a consideration.
I never so much as entertained an offer on the west coast.
