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“It’s meant to be good for unsettled stomachs.” Carly pulls out a long slim box from the bag. “But I also picked this up. I thought this might be useful.”
“What is it?”
Carly holds the box out, and I’m about to take the box before I realize what it says. I stare at my friend.
“A pregnancy test? Why would I need one of these?”
“It’s best to know now rather than later, isn’t it?”
“But…I haven’t…you know…” I feel my face getting warm. “It’s not necessary, Carly.”
Carly snorts.
“Not necessary? Elle, you had a one-night stand with a guy you ran away from. You don’t know his full name, and you still slept with him.”
“Carly!”
“Well, that’s what you did. If you’re feeling nauseous and being sick a lot after a one-night stand, the natural thing to believe is that you could be pregnant.”
Pregnant? I can feel the panic building and I shake my head.
“No, that can’t be right. I’m not pregnant.”
“Did you use protection?”
“I…I can’t remember.”
That’s a lie. I can remember. We hadn’t used protection that night, not on any of the times we had sex. I had been so wrapped up in what I was doing that I didn’t think about it at the time. And I was stupid.
Now I could possibly be pregnant because of something stupid. I don’t want to believe it.
“You’ve got to check, Elle.” Carly hasn’t pulled the box away. “If it says it’s negative, at least we can rule it out. And if it’s positive…”
I don’t like how she’s trailing off like that. I’m sure that I’m not pregnant. But if that’s the reason for me being sick…
I snatch the box from my friend and stand up. Unable to look her in the eye, I sidle past her and go up to the bathroom. God, how could I have forgotten something as simple as protection? Luke had been so seductive that he drew me in and held on.
I can’t believe that I didn’t keep a level head about it all.
It doesn’t take long for me to take the test, although the time between taking the test and waiting for the result has me pacing around the bathroom. Why can’t it be instant? The tension is too much.
When it’s finally ready and my phone is bleeping to tell me so, I snatch up the test and look at the little window.
Two lines. Does that mean I’m pregnant?
I check the box, and it says what I am fearing. It means that I’m pregnant.
My legs suddenly feel weak, and I lean against the sink, dropping the test into the bowl. I really feel like I want to be sick now. I’m pregnant from a one-night stand. That is not in my plan. I was meant to go to college, go to work, and live my life. Babies were not in my plan until I’m properly settled.
Why now?
What do I do now? My mind is racing. I have a lot going for me, and I have no time for a baby. I don’t even think I can cope with having a child; they are a lot of work, and you need patience. I’m pretty sure I don’t have the patience to raise a kid.
But the only other option is abortion. And the thought of doing that leaves me feeling cold. I don’t feel ready for a baby, but I don’t feel ready to get rid of it, either.
I don’t know what to do.
A laugh from outside gets my attention. I look out and see our neighbor in her garden. It backs onto ours, so I have a clear view of her back yard. She is outside with her little baby, who is attempting to walk. He is holding onto a walker, but he is attempting to let go and walk towards his mother, who is coaxing him towards her. Each time it looks like he is going to fall and sit on his behind, she swoops in and picks him up, which causes him to laugh. Then she puts him back on his feet, making sure he holds onto the walker, before she starts again.
