Page 17 of Crushed


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One look at him, and there was no question he was heartbroken. My heart ached for him.

Without saying a word, I walked over and sat down in the chair beside him. For a long time, neither one of us said anything. I took a few moments to say a silent prayer for Faye. It broke my heart.

Shortly afterward, it was the sound of Jesse’s voice that nearly killed me.

“If you had asked me if I thought I’d ever be here watching as they buried my beautiful cousin, I’d have laughed in your face,” he started, his voice ragged. “I was certain that if anyone was going to die young, it would be me. I was the one with a proclivity for the extreme. Faye had a penchant for safety.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. For so many years, that was precisely how things were. I might not have been around Jesse for as long as I’d known and been friends with his cousin, but in the time that I did, it was clear who was the one more willing to take risks.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Jesse,” I said softly.

The silence stretched between us for a long time. I didn’t know what else to say, so I remained quiet.

But when Jesse took advantage of that and spoke next, I wished I would have found a way to speak first.

“She was ours,” he began again. His voice was now slightly agitated. “She was ours, and now she’s gone because she made a stupid, stupid decision. Faye had her whole life ahead of her. A brilliant future. And just like that, it’s all gone. For what reason? This wasn’t her, Sawyer. This wasn’t my cousin who did this. It never should have been her.”

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Jesse believed what everyone else at school believed. He held me responsible. He knew I was the one who had always been the fearless one. I was the reason Faye, Cristina, and Janelle wound up at the quarry that day.

It was all too clear to me.

Jesse was the one person who I thought might understand the nature of what happened. I was certain he’d know that it was an accident. But the sound of his voice, the words he spoke, and the look of disgust on his face told me everything I needed to know.

Jesse blamed me.

Worse, I had little doubt that he wished it had been me that died instead of her.

So, I swallowed past the painful tightening in my throat and rasped the only words I could offer. “I’m so sorry.”

Then, I got up and walked away.

Jesse never came after me.

Then again, I didn’t expect that he would.

FOUR

Sawyer

Present Day

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

That had to be true, right? I kept repeating that sentiment over and over, hoping it wasn’t all just a lie.

I had to believe it, because it was the only thing that I could tell myself that would keep me here instead of driving me to turn around and head right back to Maryland.

I’d been gone for nearly twelve years.

Twelve whole years.

Not long after Faye’s funeral, I realized I couldn’t stay. I hadn’t planned to leave Steel Ridge so soon after receiving my high school diploma, but then again, I hadn’t exactly expected to lose my three best friends, either.

As sudden as the move had been, it was even more unexpected that I’d be away for as long as I had been. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to keep my distance.

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