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If my mom knew that I was in trouble now, there wasn’t a question in my mind that she’d be reassured knowing that Jesse was looking out for me. My father’s years of service had instilled a sense of appreciation for members of the military and overwhelming confidence in their abilities.
But since Jesse made it abundantly clear that he was not interested in helping me at all, I couldn’t bring myself to give my mom the truth. She’d be worried, and there was no denying she already did enough of that when it came to me.
“I missed you so much,” I replied.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“I thought I’d surprise you with a visit,” I told her.
Warmth moved through her expression as her features softened. “I’m so glad you’re here, but I’m concerned. You haven’t been back in years, and you burst into tears the moment I opened the door. Is everything alright?”
Everything was not alright. I couldn’t tell her that, though. She worried enough as it was.
I sighed. “It’s just… it’s been so long since I’ve seen you and been back in this town, in this house. It’s a lot.”
That might not have been the full truth, but at least I wasn’t downright lying to her.
“How long are you staying?”
That wasn’t something I had considered.
My initial plan had been to stick around as long as was necessary to keep myself alive. Considering the one guy I believed who could keep me that way wasn’t interested in doing so, I didn’t think it was wise to be here for any extended period of time. If Jesse couldn’t stand the sight of me after all these years, there was little confidence that anyone else would.
I couldn’t just pack up and leave immediately without confusing her, but I refused to stick around, too.
Smiling at her, because I didn’t want her to know how terrified I felt, I answered, “Just a couple of days.”
If I hadn’t been paying such close attention to her, I might have missed the disappointment that moved through her. Just as determined to keep her true feelings from me, my mom perked up and declared, “We’re going to enjoy every single second of your visit.”
She might have been hiding her sorrow, but there wasn’t a question that she was that happy about having me around, even if it was only for a short time.
“That sounds fantastic.”
“Let’s start with dinner,” she suggested as she stood from the couch. “Come out and keep me company in the kitchen while I cook.”
After the day I’d had, nothing sounded better than one of my mom’s home-cooked meals.
So, burying the interaction I’d had with Jesse somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I stood up and followed my mom to the kitchen.
FIVE
Jesse
It’s clear to me that you still hate me.
Still?
For two days now, I hadn’t been able to get the conversation I’d had with Sawyer out of my head.
Sawyer McKinney.
The girl who’d captured my heart in a very big way so many years ago. The same girl who then sat beside me during one of the most devastating moments of our lives and gave me hope that we’d both be okay as long as we relied on one another. The girl who walked away from me that day and left town never to show up again for twelve years.
She thought Istillhated her.
There wasn’t a time in my life from the moment I met her when I hated her. Or to be fair, I certainly hadn’t hated her up until the point she walked away and left without a word.
I had been granted a very short leave so that I could return home for my cousin’s funeral, but immediately afterward, I had to leave Steel Ridge. At the first chance I had, I reached out to Sawyer, but she had changed her number. Though I wasn’t personally very big on it, I even went so far as to try to find her on social media.
