Page 23 of Crushed


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There was not a trace of her.

It became clear to me that she wasn’t interested in being found.

That had been the point at which all the love I had for her had turned to something else. She destroyed all the feelings I had for her, and I convinced myself that I’d never want to see her again.

But two days ago, she was there.

Seeing Sawyer for the first time in so many years left me feeling a flood of emotions, the strongest of those being that attraction I’d always had to her. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of January and freezing outside. The moment my eyes landed on her, it was as though a fire had been lit inside me.

She was still just as beautiful as ever. Long, straight blonde hair with green eyes, an adorably petite nose, and the most kissable lips I’d ever laid my eyes on. There had always been something so incredibly precious to me about the way her face looked. Even in the anger I felt the day she appeared in the Harper Security Ops parking lot, I still couldn’t deny that I loved everything about her beautiful face.

But a pretty face wasn’t going to erase the devastation I’d experienced when I realized she had left.

How dare she? How dare she take off and make it impossible to reach her, only to return like it was no big deal? Like she hadn’t ripped my heart from my chest years ago.

And to do it the way she did had made it even worse. She wasn’t coming back to apologize and attempt to reconcile.

Nope.

She wanted my help.

She had the audacity to presume I’d have no issue helping her after what she’d done.

With her standing in front of me that day, I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I did what I had to do for self-preservation. I made it clear I didn’t care what problems she might have; I wasn’t going to be the guy to help her through them.

I couldn’t be.

Maybe it made me a dick to not even hear her out, but I had no other choice. Because if I fell under her spell again, I wouldn’t survive losing her when she walked away the next time.

It was ridiculous how much power she’d had over me. We hadn’t gone on a single date or even shared a kiss, but losing her had affected me in ways I never imagined.

There was nothing left here for me to run away from.

Hearing her say those words had been the equivalent of taking a bullet to the chest. How could she say that? How could she not know how much she meant to me?

In all fairness, I might not have shared, but I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around the fact that she didn’t think I was someone worth sticking around for.

As angry as I was standing beside her car with her two days ago, I wasn’t that way now. At least, I wasn’t angry for the same reasons.

I would have loved to have pretended that she didn’t matter, and that I hadn’t hung on every word she said, but I couldn’t.

I went home that night, replayed our conversation over and over in my mind, and knew what I had to do. Sawyer said she needed my help. While I didn’t know the extent of her troubles, I wasn’t the kind of man who could turn my back on someone in need, especially not someone I’d once cared for the way I’d cared for her.

So, when I went into work yesterday morning, I decided to do some research. I’d recalled the name of the club that Sawyer said she’d worked at in Maryland. My first search results led me to a place that couldn’t possibly be the place she’d been referring to, so I continued to dig.

Unfortunately, there was no other Sweet Temptations in Maryland.

That’s what led me to my second bout of anger. Sawyer had been working at a strip club. The thought made me sick.

I tended not to judge people for doing what they had to do to earn a living and put food on the table, but this was Sawyer. Had she really been taking her clothes off for a bunch of men just to make money?

I pushed my resentment aside and focused again on what I needed to uncover. Digging deeper, I’d learned that the club had been recently shut down due to some legal problems with hiring underage girls.

It was no surprise I was feeling less and less comforted, and I started thinking that perhaps Sawyer was in a very serious situation.

Recognizing the fact that she said she needed my helpandthat she’d been working where she’d been working, I had no choice but to put aside my pride and dive in.

There was no question this was going to cost me and that I might risk my heart all over again, but I’d never forgive myself if something bad happened to her. I couldn’t turn my back on her, and I’d rather risk a broken heart than to ever see harm come her way.

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