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But as much as I intended to protect her from whatever was out there, I also needed to be careful.
This was Sawyer, and I’d already felt the undeniable pull to her. My mind was just going to have to be stronger than that, because I was already committed to seeing this through.
Knowing that Sawyer had said she only had her mom in her corner, I figured that was my best place to start.
But before I had the chance to even get up from my chair in my office, Jagger walked in. Jagger and I had been great friends for years, and our friendship went well beyond us being workplace acquaintances.
Judging by the look on his face now, I knew I was in for a conversation that had nothing to do with work.
Jagger made himself comfortable in the chair opposite of where I was seated and asked, “So, are you ever going to share?”
“Share what?” I retorted, knowing precisely what he was referring to.
Jagger had been walking out of Harper Security Ops with me the day Sawyer showed up. I hadn’t ever shared the full story with him—or anyone else, for that matter—about what happened between us. Quite frankly, I wasn’t quite sure what I would have said. Telling someone that a girl I’d crushed on had left town without telling me seemed silly.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Jagger replied. “Who was the girl in the parking lot the other day?”
“Her name is Sawyer,” I answered.
“And is there a reason that both you and Sawyer seemed unable to tear your eyes away from one another?” he pressed.
I recalled that moment in the parking lot. The instant my eyes were on her, I couldn’t look away. That might have been because I was terrified I was making her up in my head and that she’d disappear if I even blinked.
“The last time we saw each other was twelve years ago,” I shared, hoping that would answer all his questions.
His lips twitched before he declared, “So, she’s the girl.”
“What girl?”
“Don’t play that game with me, Jesse,” he ordered. “She’s the girl that’s had you all twisted up inside for years.”
There was no use in denying it, so I nodded. The truth was, there was so much I’d found attractive about Sawyer. It wasn’t just that she was pretty and had an unbelievable body. I loved her courage. I liked the fact that she was willing to give just about anything a try. She didn’t live her life in fear, and she was the kind of girl who went after what she wanted. There was so much determination in her personality, and for me, a girl like Sawyer was a girl that I wanted to be around.
And I had believed she had a level of attraction to me as well. I could see it sometimes when she looked at me, and I felt it in every word she wrote in her letters to me while I was a recruit. The words in those letters were some of the best memories I had of her. I hadn’t expected she would write as much as she did, considering we were only friends, and I remembered how good it felt to know that she cared enough to do it.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to turn it into something more, and she was gone before I could make it happen. That was why Jagger knew I’d been twisted up inside for years about a girl, even if he didn’t know it had been her.
Not missing a beat, Jagger leaned forward and asked, “Is everything good now? Have you worked it all out?”
“Not exactly.”
“No? Why not?”
I’d come this far. There was no point in hiding the truth any longer. “I didn’t exactly give her the chance to tell me why she was here,” I explained. “Sawyer and I haven’t spoken for years, and it was her who walked away. I sort of let my emotions get the best of me and made it clear I wasn’t interested in anything she had to say.”
He cocked an eyebrow at me. “In the heat of the moment, I can understand that. But are you still okay with your decision to do that to her?”
Jagger knew me all too well.
I shook my head.
“So, what are you going to do?” he asked.
“Well, I was just about to get up and leave when you walked in here,” I revealed. “I’m not sure exactly where she is, but I’m going to start by going to her mom’s place. I figure that’s my best option at this point.”
A look of alarm washed over his face. “Have you visited her mom at any point over the last twelve years?”
“No. Why?”
