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“Sawyer?” Jesse called.
There had a been a time in my life when I would have given anything for him to call my name and to ask me to stay and talk to him.
That time had long since passed.
I had moved on.
I proved that to him when I ignored him and continued to walk away from him.
But he had me stopping in my tracks when he pushed forward and begged, “Please stay and have dinner with me.”
Slowly, I turned around, narrowed my eyes on him, and asked, “What?”
He walked in my direction, closing the distance between us, and clarified, “I would like you to stay, Sawyer. I want you to have dinner with me tonight. After we’ve done that and had a chance to talk, if you decide you want to leave, I won’t try to stop you.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. This was just one more thing that I’d have given anything for over the years that things were good between us to have him say to me. Nothing would have made me happier than to have dinner with him back then.
Now?
It didn’t feel right.
Jesse clearly had something up his sleeve, because I found it unbelievable that he’d suddenly had a change of heart.
No way was I going to fall for that. There was nobody in this world that was looking out for me, so I had to be the one to do it for myself.
Jesse hated me the day of Faye’s funeral, and he hated me two days ago. I was willing to venture a guess that there hadn’t been any days in between there when he didn’t hate me. So, I wasn’t completely crazy to think that he hadn’t just realized he no longer felt any ill will toward me.
This was too risky to agree to it. “I’m sorry, Jesse, but I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Why not?” I repeated.
He nodded his head, clearly wanting me to think he had absolutely no idea why I’d turn him down.
I shook my head, feeling disgusted and hurt, and gave him an explanation he didn’t deserve. “I can’t agree to what you’re asking, because I don’t trust your intentions right now.”
“Are you serious?” he retorted. Evidently, I’d wounded his pride.
“Deadly,” I assured him.
Frustration washed over him. “Look, Sawyer, I was a dick to you the other day. I’m sorry. I don’t want to make excuses, but I’ll be honest and say that I never expected I’d see you again. It messed with my head, and I took it out on you. I was wrong for that.”
“I appreciate the explanation and the apology. Consider yourself forgiven for that,” I fired back.
“So, you’ll stay and talk?” he asked.
“No.”
A crease formed between his brows. “I don’t understand.”
“I know you think that it’s just that easy, but it’s not. Apologizing doesn’t change it. It doesn’t erase what you said. More than anything, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve crushed me twice now. I won’t put myself through that a third time.”
Frustration turned to confusion. “What are you talking about? How can you say that I did anything to you when it was you who left?”
If it hadn’t been so sad, I might have laughed. “You didn’t want me here. Nobody did.”
“This is a joke, right? You’re kidding me,” he said.
