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I couldn’t do this.
“Jesse?” I called after he pulled the truck into a parking spot.
“What’s up?” he asked, looking over the center console at me.
“I… um… well, I think that maybe we should just get some takeout,” I said.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Takeout?”
I nodded. “Yes. Takeout. We can order food to go. We don’t need to go in, sit down, and have that whole experience.”
“We’re already here,” he noted. “What’s the big deal?”
He didn’t know. It baffled me that he was completely oblivious to why I was struggling with going inside.
For a brief moment, my thoughts returned to the conversation we had in the cemetery. I’d made it clear that I’d left because nobody wanted me here, and he reacted in a way that indicated he hadn’t believed that was the case. Of course, he hadn’t seen the texts I’d received. He didn’t hear the voicemail messages that people left.
But he knew what he said to me.
He knew how devastating the loss of Faye was, and yet it didn’t stop him from putting all the blame on me.
Jesse had to be pretending in the cemetery. How could he not know what hearing him say that day at the funeral would have done to me?
“Sawyer?” he called, his voice breaking into my thoughts.
“Yeah?”
He offered a sympathetic look before he promised, “It’s going to be fine. We’re just going to go in and have dinner. There’s nothing to be worried about. As long as I’m with you, I will not let anyone hurt you.”
So that’s what it was.
He thought I was worried about going into the restaurant because of Adriana’s plans to hire someone to kill me. Admittedly, that was technically a valid reason for anyone to be afraid to go anywhere.
Unfortunately, if I told him the real reason I was hesitating now, I’d look like a big baby. Jesse had always known me as the tough girl who didn’t let anything scare her. Maybe I needed to start acting like that girl again.
Ignoring the voice in my head, I finally acquiesced. “Okay. Okay, we can go inside.”
Jesse smiled at me as he reached over and squeezed my forearm. Then, he got out of the truck like he hadn’t just done the equivalent of branding my arm and met me on my side.
The next thing I knew, we were seated at a table inside a place I’d never been before. According to Jesse, the restaurant had opened about five years ago, but it quickly became a hot spot in Steel Ridge for those looking for a fun night out.
For the first few minutes, I took my time being distracted by the menu. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect now that I was here, and all that Jesse was continuing to do was really throwing me off balance.
But after the server walked up and took our orders, there was no place left for me to hide. Terrified that he might bring up something I didn’t want to talk about, I thought it might be better if I spoke first.
Before I had the chance to speak, Jesse did. “Despite what happened a few days ago that might have indicated otherwise, it’s really nice to see you again, Sawyer.”
Just like that.
It was him saying and doing things like he’d just said that left me feeling so confused. There wasn’t a question in my mind that he hadn’t forgotten about Faye, her death, or what happened the day of the funeral. That wasn’t the kind of thing that was easily forgotten.
Knowing that, I couldn’t understand why it suddenly seemed as though he’d just flipped a light switch.
Ill-prepared for reacting to his comment, I went with the first thing that came to mind. “Thanks, Jesse. It’s nice to see you, too. And don’t worry about what happened that day. I can understand why you reacted the way you did.”
He shot me a look of disappointment. “Even if you’re gracious enough to understand it, it doesn’t make how I acted okay. I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate that. And I’m sorry I just showed up without warning.”
