AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Who was going to save me now?
It wasn’t fair.
I growled into my hands, angry, desperate, beyond heartbroken.
“It’s okay, Momma,” Parker whispered into my ear, her arms tightening around me. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
I pulled her closer to me and rocked us. My girl, so brave and strong. And me, a fucking lunatic.
She was right. It was going to be okay. Because I would make it so. For her.
And I’d never let this happen to us again.
I looked over her head, watching through my tears as they heaped the final piles of dirt onto my husband’s treasure box.
My chest burned with every breath, fire in my lungs, agony in my heart. My body and soul ached unbearably.
I’d suffered a lot of loss in my life. Too much to imagine, but this? This kind of loss was insufferable, intolerable.
And my baby girl. My poor baby girl. She’d never have her daddy walk her down the aisle at her wedding. They wouldn’t have a first dance. He’d never get to hold our first grandchild.
I screamed into the air around us, more angry than sad.
“Why, God, why?” I yelled at Him. Hadn’t He already taken enough from me?
“Mommy, please,” Parker wailed into my chest and my body locked tight. She squeezed me tight to her like she was trying to hold all my pieces together. I’d almost forgotten she was here and now I was scaring her.
Hell, I was scaring me.
That was it.
I couldn’t do this at all anymore. Because this was bullshit. This was too fucking much. And I was done.
I used the sleeve of my nice black, funeral dress and swiped at my snotty, tear-soaked face, picked my pathetic self up off the ground, and swore to God almighty that I was never doing this shit again.
Ever.
I didn’t care if I died alone in a house with twenty cats. At least then I’d never experience this.
I looked at Parker’s red, wet face, her pain more unbearable than my own. My bones ached at the sight.
No one was ever leaving us again.
I felt my resolve harden, even as I dragged Parker away from Andy’s grave and toward the car.
Never again, I inwardly screamed, feeling what felt like dark, cement walls close around my heart, thick and impenetrable.
I vowed nothing would ever hurt us like this again. I promised myself I’d protect us, guard us with all my might.
“Bye, Daddy,” she whispered over her shoulder as I grabbed her hand, moving her along. We needed to go. Now.
I made sure not to look back, not even a glance, as I slipped behind the wheel of my car, buckled my seat belt, and cranked it up. I couldn’t bear to see the sweetest, most wonderful years of my life reduced to a pile of dirt and a lonely headstone.
Because treasures weren’t fucking meant to be buried.
Five Years Later
“Oh my God, Mom. Where do you want me to put this box? It’s heavy,” Parker whined, while I stood in the middle of our new living room in a completely new city and even more new state. I was overwhelmed, to say the least. I looked around, seeing nothing but boxes and more boxes and furniture that actually wasn’t at all where it was supposed to be.
