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I walked over to him, hands in my pockets, and stood next to the end of the table he was seated at.
He nodded toward the seat next to him. “Sit down, man.”
My hackles rose at his tone, but still, I gave him the respect he deserved. He’d been running this group for the last two years and I’d seen him help countless servicemen. I had a lot of respect for Holden Steel.
Which was why I didn’t tell him to mind his own fucking business and walk the fuck out of here.
He took a sip of water and then eyed me over a plate of bare chicken wings. “I wanted to have a conversation with you about Emily.”
I let out a calming breath and gave him a nod, but that was it. He wasn’t getting anything else from me. Who I fucked was none of his business and he didn’t need to worry about Emily. I was taking care of her.
“I don’t know how to say this without it being offensive, so I’m just going to spit it the fuck out. Emily isn’t for you, Reeves,” he said calmly, frankly, like he hadn’t just shit all over me.
“Okay,” I said with a nod like I was in agreement when I damn sure wasn’t. “Please tell me why Emily isn’t for me. Elaborate.” I leaned forward closer to him, beyond anxious for his answer, ready to spit fucking fire.
He pressed his lips together in thought for a moment before finally speaking. “Her story isn’t mine to tell, Weston.”
That was it? That was all he was going to give me? He was warning me off from the woman and wasn’t even willing to give me a reason why. “So that’s it? I’m just supposed to call it quits with her just because you say so? What are you? Her fucking keeper or something? Don’t you have your own fucking wife to worry about?”
Venom shot from his eyes as he placed his elbows on the table, leaning closer to me. “I’m all the family Emily has left, so yeah, I’m her fucking keeper. You got a problem with that, Reeves?”
I had a problem with it. A big one. Because I realized at that moment I didn’t want Holden to be her keeper. It should have been me.
“Emily is a grown-ass woman and is fully capable of making her own decisions. She doesn’t need a keeper, Steel.” I threw back at him.
He sat back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling and threw out a whispered, “Fuck,” into the air before looking back at me. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”
Fuck no, I wasn’t. I wasn’t done with her yet. I hadn’t had my fill. He damn sure wasn’t going to tell me to give her up.
He closed his eyes for a long second before leaning his elbows on the table and setting his chin on the tops of his hands. “I didn’t want to get involved in this. When I thought it was a one-off, I stayed out of it. But I can see that this thing isn’t going to end anytime soon, but what I do know is that when it finally does it, it won’t be good. Not for her. Emily is fragile. She’s lost a lot. She may think she can do casual, but she can’t.” He leaned over even closer to me. “She’s not built like that, man. She needs someone steady. Someone good who wants a family. Someone stable. Not a retired marine with a healthy love of fire and disregard for his own fucking safety.”
He was right about me. I was an old retired marine who was still chasing that high, even through fire.
But he was wrong about my slugger. He didn’t know her at all. All he saw was her sad eyes, but he didn’t really understand her. Or get her. Not like I did. He didn’t see her fiery spirit and fighter’s heart. He didn’t understand or know that beneath all that heartbreak and anguish was the strongest woman I’d ever met.
She had to be in order to survive what she had. I knew that better than anyone.
I stood up and looked down at him, my hands fisted at my sides. “You’re wrong about her, Holden. You don’t know shit. Emily is stronger than you think.”
I didn’t know why I felt the need to defend her, but I couldn’t stand it, the way he spoke about her like she was some defenseless lamb. When she was one of the most capable, most stubborn women I knew. She’d have kicked his ass for talking about her like this.
He looked up at me thoughtfully. “Maybe,” he said, nodding. “Maybe I am wrong about her. But you know what I’m not wrong about?” He raised his eyebrows at me and I listened on, my breath coming fast, my heart pounding in my chest. “You,” he finished with the final blow. “You’ll let her down. You’ll disappoint her. You’ll break her heart, and me and Miranda will be left to pick up all the pieces. Grow the fuck up, man. And do the right thing.”
You. I nearly staggered under the weight of that word.
I grabbed my jacket off the back of the chair, feeling sick. And angry. So fucking mad. “This conversation is over,” I ground out between clenched teeth and made my way for the exit on swift feet.
“End it,” Holden called out. “Do the right fucking thing and end it.”
You. I felt that like a wound to the chest. He was right about that. This old dog wasn’t learning any new tricks. I didn’t have plans on settling down again and raising anyone’s kids. I’d had my shot at love and it had been good. Too good. I’d been a lucky bastard to even have that.
He’d been wrong about Emily. All wrong.
But he was right about me.
In another life. One that was fair, Emily would have been mine.
But in this life, I was me. I had a dangerous job. Emily didn’t deserve to lose another person because of their profession and their own lack of self-preservation.
