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Adrienne comes out with wet hair, wearing a loose t-shirt and shorts. She sits at the island on a tall metal stool and looks at me with those pretty green eyes, and I know what she’s going to say before she says it.
“I’m not going home.”
I groan like someone punched me in the gut. “And why not?” I ask. I was so close to getting rid of her.
“I’m not ready.”
“That’s not a good excuse. We had a deal.”
“I’m going back on it.” She sits up straighter. My eyes brush down her lips, her throat, her breasts. I like the way she holds herself, rigid and strong, like her spine is an iron rod. She has fire in her, even if she doesn’t see it yet. I wish I could explain to her that Reina’s used to cutting people down—women like Reina don’t get far in organizations like Le Milieu without the ability to slice flesh with nothing more than a look and a few words. But Adrienne will only see it as pandering, and maybe it is. I’m torn between wanting to send her away and wanting to protect her, and I don’t know which impulse is stronger.
The need to be a selfish prick like I’ve always been, or the desire to open myself to something new.
To change for the better. Or at least to change at all.
I say, “Explain to me why I shouldn’t drag you into that room, force you to pack, then drag you to the airport and throw you onto a plane myself?”
“Aside from the obvious problems, I can be useful.”
“Useful, how? No, seriously, Adrienne, what sort of skills do you have that will be useful to me?”
She looks frustrated, but doesn’t wilt. Good, I like that. “I can’t fight. I can’t shoot a gun. I can’t pick locks or negotiate deals. But I have a good memory. I’m in good shape and can run for a long time. When I say I’m going to do something, I don’t give up until I do it. There’s no halfway with me, Peter. I’m all or nothing.”
“You want to beallwith me then?”
Her mouth twitches. “I want to be here. That’s all I know.”
“And I want you to be gone.” When she doesn’t react, I lean forward, getting closer to her. “Don’t you hear what I’m saying? I don’t want you, Adrienne. I’m not a babysitter. I’m not a bodyguard. I have my own problems right now, and you’re only getting in the way. I’ve spent my whole life taking orders from my family and doing my best to take care of myself. I’m not the kind of man you need right now.”
I’m too much of a selfish prick after all.
Her face twitches, but she still doesn’t slump. “I can help you if you’ll let me.”
I throw up my hands. “Aren’t you listening? I don’t want your help.”
“You don’t know what you want.”
I laugh bitterly and turn away from her. I feel her staring at my bare back and when I look over my shoulder, her head’s tilted like she’s studying my tattoos. I take a slow breath to calm myself before leaning up against the counter opposite her.
“You don’t understand what’s happening here, so I’ll explain it. This deal I’m working out with Reina and her people, it’s happening behind my family’s back. They don’t know about it and I don’t intend to tell them. What I’m doing is dangerous, Adrienne, more dangerous than normal. I have no backup, I have no support, I have nothing but myself. I’m all alone out here trying to make this happen, and I can’t keep worrying and wondering if you’re okay.”
“That’s exactly why you need me.” She stands up and leans forward. I resist the urge to stare at the hint of her breasts as her neckline falls open. “You’re alone out here and you need an extra set of eyes. Even if I’m not a criminal and I don’t know anything about your world, I’m still smart and I’m the best option you have. Besides, you don’t have to worry if I’m safe. I can learn how to take care of myself.”
She crosses her arms, glaring at me, daring me to disagree—and the problem is, she’s right. I know guys I could hire to help with some of the mundane work like getting lunches, sending messages, checking blind drops, and the thousand other little tasks that need doing in any given day, but I can’t trust any of them. Back in the States, there are people I can depend on, but out here, I’m flying blind and I don’t know who is going to turn on me at any given moment. All the while I’m working for a family that isn’t my own on a job that’s more dangerous than anticipated, and I don’t know when I can stop worrying that someone’s going to sink a knife into my back.
I do need her. Not in the way she’s probably thinking—but as I look at her again and let my mind wander, I need her in other ways. I need her in this apartment with me. I need her on my arm in clubs looking beautiful, turning heads. I need her lips against mine, even if I think she’s spoiled and difficult. I need her laughter in the morning and, hell, I need her anger. I want to feel something other than this all-encompassing numbness. She hurts me and that’s a start.
“Let’s say I agreed with you.” Her eyes light up and I continue. “What I don’t understand is why you’dwantto stay here and help me. What are you getting out of this deal? Unless you have a death wish.”
“You let me worry about that.”
I shake my head. “Not good enough.”
“I want more time with my sister.”
“Also not good enough.”
“It’s the best you’re getting.” She takes a breath and glares at me. “I don’t like you and you clearly don’t like me, but I want to know more about my family and you’re the only shot I have at talking to Reina again. You need help out here, and I’m the only person you can trust because you know I’m not connected to any of the other crime lords. This can work for us.”
