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“I’m not mad. Much. I’ll get over it. Why don’t you know what’s going on? I can’t see you just hooking up with someone. That’s so not like you.”
It may not have been like me before Hayden, and it would probably not be like me ever again, but I didn’t have time to explain. I hadn’t said anything to Thea yet, but now there was no keeping him a secret after today.
“You’re right. And I promise I’ll catch you up later, okay?” I walked over and gave Shay a quick hug. “Now how do I look? Do I need lip gloss?”
“You look beautiful, as always.” Hayden’s voice made me jump.
Shay let out a surprised squeak, quickly followed by a softly spoken, “Oh, my.”
Same friend. Every time I looked at him, it was always the same. My heart would trip, and my girly parts stood up, wanting his attention. “Hayden.” I brushed the bits and pieces of greenery from my hands then smoothed down my apron. “I thought you’d be working today.”
“I am, but I wanted to stop by.” He smiled at Shay. “Hi, I’m—”
She stepped forward and shook his offered hand. “Oh, I know who you are. I’m happy to meet you. My daughter and I love your show.” She looked over her shoulder. “I’ll leave you two alone. And thank you.” She grabbed her coffee and headed to the front of the shop.
“I never tire of hearing how much kids like my show. But why the thank you?” Resting a hip against the worktable, he folded his arms and crossed his ankles. He couldn’t have looked more relaxed in my space, and he…fit.
I didn’t need to look for another way to describe it. He just fit in my life, in my shop, and in my heart. My palms began to sweat at the revelation. Gawd, I hoped I could handle it if things didn’t go further than this.
Shay paused and before answering Hayden’s question, she winked at me then said, “Just look at her. I’ve never seen her happier. Nice to meet you too.” Waving, she disappeared through the swinging doors.
“Um, as you see, she has little to no filter, but I keep her around anyway.” Tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear, I walked closer to him and placed my hands on his sun-kissed forearms, stood on tiptoe and smiled. “Miss me already? It’s been less than an hour since I left.”
In a move that left me dizzy and turned on, he grabbed my hips, pulling me in tight and kissed me breathless.
Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled back, then rested his chin on the top of my head. “I wish it was just for this moment, but I got a call and I need to leave for a couple days. My producer needs my help with some pre-production issues. I’d ask you to go with me, but you already mentioned how swamped you are.”
The invitation hung in the air. Taking off with him on a moment’s notice as exciting as it sounded, wasn’t an option. Hayden Snow had been nowhere on my bingo card for the year. In fact, this whole thing between us, and I still didn't want to label it as a relationship, was not something I’d ever have imagined in a million years.
I still hadn’t gathered up the courage to discuss the possibility of a future with him. Could a long-distance relationship work? Did I want someone who was gone more than he was home? Missing special events, holidays? And then there was my desire for kids. Did I want to get involved with him not knowing if he wanted them or not?
There were so many unknowns and unasked questions that my decision to dive in headfirst to our undeniably intense physical connection was beginning to feel overwhelming.
“Hey, where’d you go? It’s okay. I know you just can’t take off. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m used to changing plans on a dime and I know that’s not for everyone. But I will be back, okay?” He rubbed my back and all those yummy endorphins I’d become addicted to pumped through me.
Yup—scary connection.
Some guys would have taken this opportunity to end things, but Hayden seemed to be doing the opposite. Maybe this trip was a good thing. I could use some time to figure out what I really wanted moving forward. Because I knew much more time with him, and there may be no going backward, for my heart that is.
Hayden placed his fingers under my chin and kissed me again. This time, it felt different. Cradling my head, he took his time. Feathering his lips over mine before diving deep, he curved his tongue around mine, slightly sucking, then releasing it over and over. I let him in, really let him in. Gave myself permission to feel what it would be like if this could be our forever.
Tears formed behind my eyelids. I squinted to keep them from falling. I felt more than cherished, more than desired. I felt needed.
Even though I already expected the end to be hard, what if all these feelings I had were more than the excitement of having great sex? What if this was something I’d never experienced before… what if I was already in love with him?
Chapter7
HAYDEN
Settlinginto my seat on the plane home, I felt an excitement that typically hit me on the way to my next adventure. But I knew the reason for this feeling wasn’t hard to name. Brenley.
The two days I was supposed to be gone had turned into four. I was distracted by day three and realized that texting and brief phones calls only increased my frustration at not being able to be with her in person.
I hadn’t planned on falling in love. Which sounded silly because I was pretty sure no one planned it. But I definitely felt shaken to my core over all that had taken place between us the last few weeks. I hadn’t felt this unsure and insecure about what someone else thought of me since school.
Before I left, Zane had called and invited me to their place for a dinner. They’d invited family and friends to celebrate the end of summer and he asked, or rather ordered, me to bring Brenley. She would be the first woman I brought home to meet my family. And the more I thought about that, the more I wanted her to be theonlywoman I ever brought home.
I needed to tell her was that she was—is—the only woman I could see myself growing old with. Having a family and living life to its fullest. Hell, maybe sometimes your first love was the only love. And why was I so surprised now by my feelings for her when they’d started so long ago? Buried and dormant, waiting for the right time to break through the layers of self-preservation I’d wrapped my heart in over the years—she was the one and it was time to tell her.
