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“Jake, would you please shut up?” she demanded making him look at her—really look at her. “Lucca is a friend. Yes, he kissed my forehead but that’s it. He knows I’m in love with you Jake.”
“Really? Because it didn’t look that way to me, it looked like your mystery man has shown up and in two seconds you were done with me.”
“Damn it Jake, there is no mystery man.”
“No it’sLucca, isn’t it? He’s the one you’ve been breaking hearts for, isn’t he?”
“No Jake, alright just let me explain,” she pleaded seeing the hurt in his eyes already. “Please, you owe me that.”
He didn’t want to hear it but he couldn’t deny her anything and he walked over to the bench with her. He sat down and she stood in front of him, the apology on her face was too much and he wanted to find a way to change her mind. He was a fool though. He’d left his entire life behind to come here for her and now, he was, yet again, being dumped.
“Lucca and I…it’s complicated Jake,” she sighed. “So please just let me tell you without interrupting me okay?”
“Talk Cee,” he stated gripping the bench with his hands to stop from reaching out and pulling her onto his lap.
“I met Lucca right after I got up here. I’d enrolled in the summer session and had some free time, which was when I started looking for Noah. I’d just found out that he’d gotten married and had the kids, I was upset and Lucca found me.”
“He took advantage of your vulnerability.”
“No Jake, nothing happened between us in a sexual way.”
“I saw you two, there’s knowledge in you about him and him you Cee.”
“We became friends and I fell for him,” she admitted as her heart pounded in fear. “It wasn’t what I’d expected Jake. I was so mad at you for letting me walk away and then Lucca was there, but it wasn’t a rebound thing.”
“Thanks a lot Cee.”
“Just wait please, I fell in love with him and the way he made me feel as though I were the most important thing in the world. We fooled around but I could never let it go past some light caresses of the skin. He knew there was a reason why I held back and I finally told him about you and me. He understood Jake and that’s when he left.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He knew that despite me loving him, you still owned every other piece of my heart. He left because he didn’t want to hurt me by trying to make me stop loving you and so we wouldn’t end up hating each other. He’s a huge part of my life even though he’s not here Jake.”
“What does that mean Cee?”
“It means that we talk, we meet up occasionally. I just didn’t tell the others that I’m still in contact with him because I knew they’d question if he meant more to me than I’d let on. To them he was just a friend but to me…”
“You love him and now that you’ve seen him again you realize it’s him you want and not me,” he snapped his entire being laced with pain.
“What? No Jake, god no,” she said kneeling down in front of him. “He’s just a friend. Yes, I love him but it doesn’t begin to compare to the way I love you, the way I’ve always loved you. I won’t deny that if you weren’t in my life, my heart that something might happen with him but you had my heart first. I will always want you.”
“Then why didn’t you just tell me about him?” he asked wanting to reach out and touch her, hold her to him so desperately.
“I thought you were going to leave me again and I didn’t want you to know how much it’d hurt—that the one person I did fall for couldn’t erase you from my heart.”
“You were scared.”
“Terrified, I still am, but Lucca pointed out that I can’t run from it. I never could. I’ve let myself believe in bad luck because it was easier to blame that than to take a chance but I can’t lose you now. When you told me you were staying I knew I needed to tell you the truth about Lucca but I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that I’d fallen for someone else.”
“It kills me to know that if something happened to me you’d go to him because I know he loves you. I saw it the second he spotted you and I wanted to kill him because you were smiling back at him in a way that you should only smile at me.”
“Jake, look at me,” she said softly finding his gaze. “There’s never been anyone who could turn me away from you. Lucca was the only person I ever let in, but even he couldn’t stop you from owning my heart and soul. I love you, I’m in love with you and I want to be with you so badly that I’m terrified you’ll leave, and I’ll never find my way out of that dark place again.”
“I could never leave you Cee. I walked away because I didn’t want to do something I’d regret like strangling that guy for stealing you from me,” he replied cupping her face.
“No one can Jake, it’s always been you, always will be you. I said I’d never get married but here I am engaged to you for the second time.”
“You’re going to get married and soon because I am not about to let anyone else think they’ve got a shot at winning you,” he whispered against her lips as he pulled her up to him.
