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“You’re far weaker than you should be.”He didn’t speak aloud, even though he could’ve.
And I knew it would’ve been a perfect time to turn his comment on him—to ask why he hadn’t told me of the stress I knew he was feeling.
But I didn’t want to hurt him, and I didn’t need to, either.
“I think the throne’s magic was doing more for me than I realized,”I admitted.“I don’t have a lot of time left.”
“You have all of the time left. We’re getting you the elemental magic you’re meant to have,”my mate growled back at me, his hand tightening on my hip.“We’re refusing to die, Vena. It’s time for you to accept that.”
My throat swelled.
Did he think Iwantedto die?
Because I certainly wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye to our world. It hadn’t been nearly kind enough to me for that. But… being saved still felt like an impossibility.
“I’ve been aware of my incoming fate for a long time,”I finally said.“It’s not an easy thing to let go of. Accepting that we’re refusing to die would feel like embracing false hope, and I can’t afford false hope.”
His lips dipped to my shoulder, and lingered on my skin.“I won’t let you go without one hell of a fight. You should be able to accept that—that I’m fighting for us.”
“You’re fighting foryou,”I countered.
I felt his anger roll down my spine as if it were my own, and then he had me spun around, so our chests were pressed together and the sides of our noses kissed.
“If I were truly fighting for myself, I would’ve broken some poor fucker’s mind until he was weak enough to find and murder my brothers for me. I’m not ready to die—that’s true. But if I truly cared about myself that much, I would already be sitting on Espen’s throne, with my brothers’ bodies buried in my castle’s courtyard. I’ve spent two decades of a lonely, bitter hell in the castle my abusive mother loved more than any of her children, when I could’ve been free. Not because I fought for myself; because I wasn’t ready to die, or to become the killer my brothers believed I already was. Even if this fucking journey was going to be my end, I would be traveling with you, getting you exactly where you needed to go. Do you know why, Lemay?”
“I don’t,”I admitted.
“Because you deserve to live, more than anyone I have ever known.”His lips met mine, gently, and my eyes closed as they flooded with water.
Something about the words he had said, paired with the way he had said them, hit me hard.
“You love living so tremendously. You find joy in the simplest things—from salting soup, to watering plants, to laying in bed and talking about the stars. And that is something deeply beautiful, in a way nothing and no one else I’ve ever met can compare. You love life, and you live it full-heartedly. There aren’t many people who can say that about themselves, and you should be proud of yourself for it.”
I shook my head a bit.“I’ve been forced to accept the fact of a death that many fae never have to consider. It makes me appreciate what I’ve been given, and pushes me to enjoy the time I have left.”
“Yet that’s a lesson many of us never learn. Myself included.”His forehead met mine.“You are incredible, Vena. And though I don’t deserve you, I don’t have words to describe how grateful I am that you’re mine.”His lips brushed mine.“Now, we should get dressed and grab the bags I prepared. I don’t want Espen and Akari poking around my home, even if we’re about to abandon it.”
I laughed softly.“We can come back here after we return.”
His gaze was soft, and a bit wistful.“No, I don’t think we can. You deserve an inn to run—and a home to call yours that isn’t haunted by the horrors of my past. And perhaps I deserve that too.”
“At least now you’re admitting that you aren’t so terrible yourself,”I teased him, poking the corner of his lips and tugging upward a bit.
“Don’t get used to it,”he warned, though he was smirking a bit. His hand squeezed my ass, and he lowered me carefully to the floor.“Let me clean up that gorgeous ass of yours so you can put on a dress that will make me fucking paranoid that your whole body is going to be exposed every damned day we’re on that boat.”
A laugh escaped me.“Deal.”
Our fingers were intertwined as we walked to the bathroom together, our arms brushing and our hips bumping one another.
We weren’t perfect… but for the moment, we were happy.
And that was what really mattered.
Chapter14
Laith
We madeit to the dock without a problem, and boarded after Vena and Akari exchanged teary hugs. I pressed my lips to every one of my female’s fingers as we watched the Night Court grow smaller on the horizon, and set her palm to the center of my chest as I cradled her in my arms, holding her upright against the ship’s railing.
