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Darcy
I had known I was an idiot before, but now I was sure I was one of the most stupid men ever to walk in England. Had I honestly thought I was not sure about Elizabeth Bennet? What a ridiculous notion! I would be a fool if I did not secure her as soon as she would agree to it. She was perfection and I was tied in knots trying to convince her to have me.
I had never thought I would need to work so hard for a lady’s approbation. I was generally considered a catch and my position alone was enough to secure the hand of almost any lady I wished for. Except her.
She had never said it outright, but every action, every look, had told me that she would not come easily. If I wanted her, I would have to earn her. And lord, but that felt good! To know that a lady was interested in me not because of the jewels I could buy her, but because she genuinely enjoyed my company, was heady indeed. I had never felt so close to a lady, so honestly admired.
The growing bond between us felt sacred, precious, and I knew that I would do whatever was necessary to protect it.
It was odd, feeling my loyalties shift as I did. I had always placed my family’s comfort and honor about all else. Now, Elizabeth was displacing everyone. I knew that if my family was rude to her at dinner tonight, or made her feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable, I would take her hand and leave and never look back.
I doubted such a thing would happen, but knowing I felt this way was more than a little unbalancing. But I could not regret it. Elizabeth Bennet would be mine one day soon, and getting to the point where she would accept me was worth every effort on my part.
19
Elizabeth
“Ihaveanoddfeeling about tonight, Aunt,” I said as we put on our cloaks in the vestibule.
“All will be well, my dear. Lady Matlock will be kind to you, and I’m sure Darcy’s cousins are affable gentlemen.”
“I believe they are. But what if Colonel Fitzwilliam recognizes me?” I said in a whisper. We were alone now, but I would take no chances.
“I doubt he will. He was delirious with fever. He likely thought he was dreaming.”
I chewed on the inside of my lip. “What if he says something to Mr. Darcy? We are courting now. It would make things difficult.”
“It would. But he may not say anything. And you had planned on telling Mr. Darcy the truth at some point, had you not?”
“Yes, I must eventually. But I wished to wait until I was sure of him.”
“Sure that he would not tell anyone else?”
“Yes, that, but also sure that his affection will outweigh his shock.”
My aunt smiled sardonically. “My dear, you have beentherefor some time now.”
I gave her a look and moved to the door. “Is it not time to go?”
She laughed and followed me to the waiting carriage.
Dinner was being held at Matlock House, the town house of the current earl and often used by his children. As soon as we came in, Lady Matlock greeted us warmly and kissed my aunt on the cheek. They were friends of longstanding, though I do not think they were particularly close.
I was introduced to the earl and countess, Viscount Hartley’s wife, and his younger brother Harold Fitzwilliam. I looked about, but I did not see the colonel. The next fifteen minutes were a whirlwind of short conversations and mildly intrusive questions. Darcy squired me about the room with a proud look on his face, and seeing how unashamed he was, how glad he was to have me on his arm, filled me with a warmth that made me hold his arm a little closer and smile a little brighter each time he looked my way.
Before dinner was announced, Darcy said he wished to show me something in the library and led me out of the room. My aunt had smiled and nodded when he suggested it, and I knew she thought he wished to steal me away for a kiss, but I doubted that was his intent.
We entered a large room filled with books from floor to ceiling, and I immediately drifted over to the shelves to peruse the titles.
“I should have known better than to bring you to a library,” he teased.
“What? Was your intent not to show me a book?”
He smiled rakishly and stalked towards me. My breath came faster and I took a step back, bumping into the book case. Darcy loomed before me, one hand resting on the shelf above my shoulder as he leaned closer.
“I had intended to show you a map, but now I have other things in mind,” he said lowly, his voice making my stomach tighten.
“What sort of things?”
