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“It’s kind of a mind fuck, isn’t it?” I try to keep my tone sympathetic.
She narrows her brows and crosses her arms in front of her inadvertently pressing up her tits. “What is?”
“The whole love triangle thing. I assume you feel something for both of them or you wouldn’t be struggling so much.”
Her hand flutters toward her lips and to the back of her neck as she looks back toward me with a grimaced, pained stare. “You’ve been cold to me since we met last night. Now you’re trying to empathize with me?” She glances around uneasily, taking note of the cameras. “You’re just trying to trick me into telling you and the rest of the world who that guy was.”
A bubble of anger rises in my throat as my patience shatters. This girl is broken, cracked, and she needs a reality check. I unclasp the shell microphone around my neck and step toward her and nod as though asking permission to strip off hers as well. She looks up at me and nods just slightly and I reach around her tiny frame and unclasp the hook, dropping the necklace into the sand before gripping her hand and taking her into a sheltered cove in the jungle.
Dean is perched under a tree with a book and doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to us, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Jane will radio him the news she lost audio soon.
“We don’t have much time.” I take a deep breath and stare down at Sara. Her eyes are shining and glossy and lips are gently parted. I’m not sure if this is her regular look. I’ve done my best to steer clear of too much contact, but this close she’s almost unbearably beautiful. “Are you in trouble?” I finally manage.
She shrugs and looks down at the sand, pushing heaps of it back and forth with her toes. “What’s the definition of trouble?”
Reaching out, I place my index finger under her chin and lift her gaze to mine. My breath immediately quickens when our eyes meet. “It sounds like you are. Who is this guy?” My tone is softer now than it had been before. It has to be, she’s so fragile here with her delicate frame in my hands.
“He’s just…” She sucks in a deep breath and the tension comes back to her shoulders. “He’s… turns out he’s not the nice guy I thought he was.”
She’s being cryptic which is only serving to fuel my desire to protect her. “I can’t help you if you’re not real with me, Sara. We only have a few minutes.” My voice is low when I speak, a change from the normal tone I’ve had.
“What is there to help with? We’re out here in the middle of nowhere. I’m as safe as can be while I’m here. When I go home, I… I’ll… figure something out.”
A weight settles onto my chest and my arms become heavy. I let out a long sigh. “I’ll make sure you’re here as long as possible.”
“Why would you do that? You hated me a second ago? You’re angry at me, remember? I kissed both your friends. I’m distracting them from winning a million dollars. Now I’m distracting you too.”
If I hadn’t been at the bar last night and seen the look of fear in her eyes when she saw the asshole lurking after her, I might believe that this whole thing was some distraction, but I did see him. I saw the way his dark eyes dialed in on her with intent, the way he hopped off his bar stool and followed her out onto the beach like a wolf. I hate to admit it, but as happy as I was to stay out of the whole thing, I was glad Brad was with her.
“You need to tell Brad about Colin and y’all need to sort something out between you. I see you’re feeling something for both of them.”
“That’s the thing,” she says, her eyes wide before her gaze goes inward. “I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t want to look like a monster. I’m…” She rubs her palm over her heart and her stare moves up toward me. “I’ve done things. I mean, I’ve been with men, but I don’t feel like this for them. Usually, I feel nothing. With Colin and Brad, I do. I feel so much. It’s almost—”
“It’s unbearable,” I say, running a finger over top the fine bone protruding from her shoulder. “I’ve been there.”
“You’ve loved two women at once?”
I laugh. “Not quite, but a woman I loved also loved two other men.”
“What happened to her?” Sara asks with pure innocence. Her eyes are soft, her hand still on mine.
I haven’t opened up about Mari to anyone but Brad and Colin. They both sought out therapy and attended grief support and I kept things locked away. It was too painful to talk about and I blamed them for not feeling the same. The whole experience had me questioning their love was ever as strong as mine. But as I stand here with Sara, the hair rising on the nape of my neck as she sweeps her hand further up my arm, I know that isn’t true. I still very much love Mari and her memory, yet my heart is beating a mile a minute here with Sara.
“She passed away,” I say. “Three years ago.”
“Oh, Zane,” Sara says, pressing against me.
The comfort is nice, a warm body against my own. It’s more than I’ve allowed in for years. In fact, this might be the first hug I’ve had since Mari’s services.
Sara nuzzles into me, her arms wrapped tight around me as far as she can reach, her head against my chest, the scent of some sort of wildflower in her hair. She shouldn’t smell this good. We’ve been swimming in the salty sea, carrying firewood, getting dirty.
I expect the embrace to pass quickly, but it doesn’t. She stays pressed against me as though she needs the warmth as much as I do. My hand runs up over the small of her back and down again. At first, I’m trying to be comforting, then, I like the touch of her smooth skin against the tips of my fingers. It’s soothing the way I easily glide up and down over her curves.
“Your heart is beating fast,” she says. “I can hear it pounding. Are you okay?”
I look down at her, my lips suddenly aching to kiss the top of her head, to hold her the rest of the night, to protect her from everything and everyone. If only anything were that easy. “We should get back to camp,” I say, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “We’ve gotten lucky having this long to ourselves.”
She leans up from my chest, her eyes like shining beacons of innocence that I want to cradle against me again. “Yeah, I guess we should get back to it.” Her tone is low and what I guess is disappointed, though I could be projecting, because this emptiness I now feel against my skin is now the most disappointing thing that’s happened on this island.
