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“I love you, Cinderella. I fucking love you. You need to get better so we can do this right.” The voice is Saint’s. He’s closer this time, like he’s next to me, but I can’t feel him.
Don’t go?Maybe I’m in the hospital? Maybe I’m not dead yet! Maybe, I’m in a coma. Oh God, who will wax my upper lip and pluck my eyebrows?
“I love you too, bella.” It’s Dante. “We need you. Please.”
“Who is going to watch Clone Wars with me, Qui-Gon?” Luca squeezes my hand.
Luca squeezes my hand!
I felt him squeeze my hand! That has to be good. But above that, are these men really telling me theylove me?
Why couldn’t I be awake for this?
Trying harder, I will my fingers to wiggle, but the harder I try, the more exhausted I get. And soon, my consciousness begins to float away again. I beg my brain to hold on, to run after it, to catch it at all costs, but it’s no use. I’m floating back into the darkness, the men I need getting further and further away. Soon, the darkness becomes light, and the light becomes bright, and that brightness turns to an all-out war against my eyeballs until I’m light as a feather and looking down at all three men. They’re sobbing, holding my hands, touching my body, leaning over me as though they’re desperate for me to wake.
This is the part of the movie where I’ve died, where I can see myself, before I ascend to something greater. I shouldn’t have been worried about waxing my upper lip. I’m bald. All my gorgeous hair is gone. I wonder if I had the surgery. I wonder how long it’s been.
The beeping on the machine goes flat and Saint stands from the side of the bed, tossing back the chair he’s been sitting on, a loud growl in his throat before he throws himself onto the bed beside me.
“Please don’t fucking go! Someone do something!”
Dante and Luca round to his aid and the doctor rushes into the room. Saint is on my chest. He’s thumping against my lifeless body, breathing air into my lungs. The doctor yells to Dante and Luca, and he’s pulled off of me as the doctor takes over.
“Save her!” Saint growls.
“Get him out of here,” the doctor yells to Dante. “If you want me to save her, I need to focus.”
Dante takes Saint from the room with a struggle and Luca stands by my side, holding my hand as the doctor works.
I want to come back. I want to be with them. I want a family with them… a life. I’m too young to go.
The light I’m standing in dims and the beeping on the machine fills in again, the chorus of sounds steady and rhythmic as I sink back into the darkness. My mind may be lost again, but my body has recovered.
Chapter Fifteen
Luca
I stare down at Lucy, watching as her chest rises and falls with each new breath. I shouldn’t watch her this closely. I know there are machines doing that work for me, but I don’t trust them. I want to see it with my own eyes. I want to physically audit every breath she takes until she comes back to us.
“This is the third time I’ve watched this series,” I say to her. I’m not sure she can hear, but over the past couple of days there has been a little response, so I keep trying. “The baby Yoda is what makes the show. I’ll tell you that in private, but if anyone asks, I’ll lie and say I watch for the Mandalorian.”
“The Mandalorian?” she croaks. “Of course, we’re all watching for the baby Yoda. It’s no contest.”
My entire body freezes and my mouth falls open as I turn toward her.
Did she really talk, or did I imagine the whole thing?
Her voice is shaky and timbered with a roughness.“Well, aren’t you going to argue that we watch for the droids? I mean, IG-11 being reprogramed to a nurse droid to protect the baby Yoda… that was great.”
I shouldn’t fucking cry. I’m a big guy. I run with the leaders of the mafia. I watch people die nearly every day. Certainly, I can handle a few emotions.
Leaning down, I wrap Lucy in my arms, fighting back the tears I know are coming. “How do you feel?” I reach for a cup of water I’ve been nursing and hand it toward her, helping her take a long sip. It seems to help, but I can bet she’s going to need more than a glass of water to heal what’s just happened to her.
“I feel confused,” she says, looking around the hospital room. “I was drowning and then I was here, and I heard you guys, then I saw all of you. It felt like I was dead. Did I die?”
“You’re in the hospital,” I say, gripping her hand in mine as I try to control tears. “You’ve been here for two days. The surgery went well, but you dropped into a coma after that. It was touch and go for a while but… how do you know about that?”
“Like I said, I could see. I could see everything, from above. I saw Saint freak out and… where are Saint and Dante?”
