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"I don't remember anyone telling me he was dead," Kade continued. "I'm sure my mom said something to me, but I was only four. It bothers me that I don't remember that night. That there was a specific point where my life went from good to bad."
"You're lucky, Kade. I remember the exact moment that everything in my life changed. I remember the rain on the windows, my sister and I playing when we were supposed to be asleep, the phone ringing, my dad's hushed voice, and then his yell of disbelief. I'd never been so scared in my life."
"That's rough."
"We didn't know right away that she was dead. It took a week before they were sure, but I knew in my heart that my mom was gone, even if I didn't want to admit it. That night haunts me as well as the night my dad finally told us she was gone, that she'd gone to heaven." I swallowed a knot of emotion. "But getting back to you. Did the police ever figure out who killed your dad?"
"No, and I don't think they ever will. My mom made her peace with it. I've tried to do that by painting every negative thought that moves through my head. That works for a while. But then the anger comes back."
"Would it make a difference if you knew who had done it?"
"No, but it would make a difference if there was justice, if they had to pay for what they did."
I thought about that, remembering what else he'd said. "You suggested that my mom was interested in you because of the way your dad died. Why? I don't see the connection."
"My mother said that the woman she spoke to told her that she wasn't a stranger to violence, that it was always the kids that suffered the most, the innocent children. She was making it her life's work to help children who were affected by violence."
"That makes no sense. She didn't have a history marred by violence."
Kade gave me a long, pointed look.
"I don't really know, do I?" I said with a sigh. "She could have had violence in her past, long before she married my dad."
"Or while she was married to your father."
"That's difficult to believe, but I have to stop defending what I don't know. I have to find out the truth." I looked out at the city, now barely visible through the fog. "There's an answer somewhere."
"There might be an answer, but there's also danger," he reminded me. "Someone tried to run you down. If you continue to ask questions, they'll keep coming after you. You can leave now, go back to your life, the life you were living before your mother came out of the shadows. You don't owe her anything."
"Even though she left me, she's still my mother. She gave me life. I have to find out who she is—if she's a victim of violence or if she's a horrible, evil person."
"The truth is probably somewhere in between. It may not bring you peace."
I looked into his eyes. "If you could find out what happened to your dad, would you do it?"
"I've tried to find out. I've never gotten anywhere. The case is a dead end."
"And if you got a clue?"
"I'd chase it down until I hit a brick wall," he admitted. "Even then, I might try to crash through that wall. But there might be a big cost."
"I know I'm taking a risk, Kade. But I can't stop, not yet. There's a vigil tonight at my mom's school. I said I would go, and I want to do that. I don't know if it will provide a clue to who shot her, but it might tell me more about her life, and I'm hungry for those clues as well. Maybe I won't find out who tried to kill her, but I need to at least know who she is."
He nodded. "I get it. I admire your persistence, Brynn. You're a lot braver than you think you are."
"Thank you for this afternoon. For taking me away for a little while. I never thought I'd enjoy riding a motorcycle. I thought I'd be too scared, but it was wonderful. I enjoyed it."
"When you weren't holding on to me in sheer terror," he teased.
"I got better," I said defensively.
"You did. You definitely eased up your grip on me. Not that I was complaining about you holding on to me so tightly."
A light simmered in his gaze now, the one that made my stomach do a little dance every time it appeared. I needed to ignore it. At least, for now.
Kade cleared his throat, as if he'd come to the same conclusion. "I'll take you back. And I'll help you find the truth, Brynn. You were right when you said your mom has an unusual attachment to me. That keeps gnawing at me, and I need to understand why Laura made a choice to meet me after my mother turned the money away. Laura was eager to encourage me, to support my art, to get me this showing. I need to know what was motivating her to do that. And I hope…" His voice drifted away as his gaze moved back to the city view.
"What do you hope?" I asked, worried about the change in his demeanor. He'd stiffened, lost his teasing smile.
