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She nodded, removing her helmet as Decker did the same, then freed Leo from the carrier. They moved their bikes off to the side and walked down to the water. There was a couple with two kids having an afternoon picnic, and another woman stretched out on the sand reading a book. Otherwise, the beach was deserted.
"Not too close to the water," she told Leo, who was already looking for rocks, one of his favorite things to do at the beach.
"Okay," Leo replied, barely glancing in her direction.
Decker sat down, stretching out his legs before him, and after a moment's hesitation, she also sank to the sand.
"This is something," he said, his gaze sweeping the scene in front of them.
"One of the prettiest spots on the lake and never too crowded, because you can't park nearby. You have to bike or walk to get here."
"It's worth the effort." His gaze swung back to her. "Thanks for bringing me."
"No problem." She paused. "I guess I'm not the only one Joel stands up for work."
"Joel can get tunnel vision when he's in the middle of a project. I'm sure he'll make it up to you."
"I don't need him to make it up to me. I just need to know that…" Her voice drifted away as she realized how needy she was about to sound.
"What do you need?" Decker asked curiously.
"Nothing. Forget it."
"I'm not going to forget it. Just tell me. I won't say anything to Joel."
"I'm a little gun-shy when it comes to men who lose track of the rest of the world when they're in the middle of a project."
"We're talking about your ex-husband."
"Kevin could be a great husband and father when he wanted to be, when he gave us his focus, but most of the time, his concentration was elsewhere. I couldn’t complain because then I'd be a distraction. He couldn't afford to be distracted when he was in dangerous parts of the world. I couldn't whine about not having enough attention. I had to swallow my feelings and be the cheerful, supportive wife. He was doing his duty, and I had to do mine. And I did it, for a long time."
"What changed?" he asked curiously.
"Leo," she said simply. "Kevin missed Leo's birth. I was all alone when I went into labor. It wasn't Kevin's fault. He'd been captured on a mission. I didn't know that at the time; I just knew he was missing. When I found out he was alive, I was the happiest I'd ever been. He came home injured but able to recover and for six months, I thought we were going to enter a new chapter in our lives. He was going to get out of the service, and we'd be a family."
"I guess that didn't happen."
"No. He tried, but he was bored and restless, even with a newborn in the house." She paused, thinking back to those tough days. "Kevin didn't know how to be anything but a soldier. He had to go back. And I had to let him."
"I'm sorry, Chloe," Decker said, a compassionate gleam in his gaze.
"It was a hard time, but that's life, right? You get knocked down. You get back up."
He nodded. "That's true."
"I had a lot of support, so over time, things got better." She scooped up a pile of sand in her hand, letting it slip through her fingers. "Our love didn't last, but it brought me Leo, so how could I ever regret it?"
"Regrets are a waste of time. They change nothing. They don't make you feel better."
"I agree, but it's still difficult to let them go. Have you ever wished you'd made a different choice?"
"God, yes," he said so vehemently, she laughed. "But I don't dwell on it. I move on, try to do better in the future."
"That's what I do, too, although I probably dwell on the problem a lot longer than you do. I've always been a little too eager to please, to do the right thing. My friends say I'm too nice. Maybe I am."
"If that's your worst trait, I think you're good," he said with a warm smile.
Her heart fluttered as the breeze lifted his hair, the sun putting a glow on his handsome features, his full lips, and firm jaw. His gaze shifted, as she couldn't quite break the connection between them.
