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When she got home a little before five, Leo was lying on the couch with his headphones on, watching a cartoon on his tablet. He wasn't crying, for which she was extremely grateful. Jessie was on her computer at the dining room table. She closed it and stood up.
"I just let him have a show a few minutes ago," Jessie said. "We played in the backyard for a while, but he was pretty grumpy about everything."
"Thanks for trying."
"No problem." Jessie gathered her things and left.
As the door closed behind her, Chloe went over to Leo and gave him a smile.
He smiled back, but then returned to watching his show. Usually, she got a more excited greeting or a demand to play, but since he was relatively happy at the moment, she went into the kitchen to pull dinner together. She couldn't drum up much energy for the meal. Like Leo, she was feeling deflated. Maybe some food would help.
A half hour later, she had macaroni and cheese ready, as well as fruit and carrots for Leo to eat. She'd heated up some of the leftover enchiladas for herself, although the thought of eating them only reminded her of Decker, which didn't help her flagging appetite.
She called Leo to the table, but he didn't respond, so she went over and took the headphones off. "Your food is ready," she said.
"I'm not hungry," he said grumpily.
She frowned. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes looked too bright. She put her hand on his forehead and was astonished by how hot he was. Her little boy wasn't just out-of-sorts; he had a fever.
"You're warm. I'm going to take your temperature." She moved down the hall to the bathroom to get the thermometers. When she got back to the living room, Leo's eyes were closed. She used the forehead thermometer to get a quick reading. It said one hundred and four, and her heart jumped into her throat. She gently woke Leo up and used the regular thermometer under his tongue. It came out the same.
"I don't feel good," Leo murmured. "Can I go to sleep?"
Her energetic son never wanted to go to bed. "I'm going to call the doctor. We might need to get you some medicine," she said, as she grabbed her cell phone. The doctor's office was closed, since it was after five, but she got the night nurse. After describing Leo's temperature, the nurse told her to take him to the emergency room, which only scared her more. The nurse reassured her it was just a precaution, but Leo had a high enough fever to warrant an examination.
She threw the plates of food into the refrigerator, picked up Leo, and carried him to the car. He started crying as she put him in his car seat.
"It's okay, baby," she said. "We're going to make you feel better soon."
Her hands were shaking as she started the car, but she ordered herself to pull it together. Everything would be fine. She was five minutes from the hospital. They'd see a doctor soon, and it was probably nothing bad.
Her mental pep talk went around and around in her head on the brief journey to the emergency room. After parking, she carried Leo into the ER where a nurse asked her to fill out some paperwork. With Leo crying and his arms wrapped around her neck, the nurse decided to put them in a room. As they entered, she asked the nurse if Hannah was on duty yet and if she could tell her they were here. The nurse informed her Hannah was on another case, but she would let her know as soon as she was free.
She sat down in the chair in the exam room since Leo refused to let go of her. His feverish body only increased her panic, and a dozen thoughts ran through her mind, all of them making her feel guilty mom thoughts. Maybe Leo hadn't just been upset about Decker. Maybe Leo had been sick all day and she hadn't seen it.
Another nurse came in and extricated Leo from her arms so she could examine him.
As he continued to cry, Chloe put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay," she told him, praying that was true.
A doctor entered a moment later and continued the examination. They wanted to take some blood, which scared her even more and also made Leo scream louder.
Finally, that was over, and the doctor said he'd be back to talk over the results.
As Leo continued to cry, she picked him up and sat back down in the chair with him, his little head resting on her shoulder as his sobs tore apart her heart.
Hannah came into the room a few minutes later, concern in her eyes. "Hey, what's going on?" she asked, squatting down in front of them. She put one hand on Leo's back and the other on Chloe's knee. "Our boy isn't feeling good, is he?"
"He has a really high fever. The doctor said something about infection or virus. I don't know. They took some blood."
"It's going to be okay, Chloe."
She'd been saying the same thing to Leo, but he didn't seem to believe her, and she was having trouble believing Hannah. "It has to be," she said desperately. "I can't believe I didn't realize he was sick. I thought he was just mad that Decker didn't come to his show, but he didn't eat much breakfast, and he's been crying off and on all day. I didn't even think to take his temperature. What is wrong with me?"
"Stop it, Chloe. This is not your fault, and it has not been that long. He danced in his show, right? That was only a few hours ago. You haven't been ignoring him. You're not a terrible mother. Your kid is ill, but we'll figure out what it is, and he'll get better. You know I never lie, right?"
"I know you don't lie, but you are my friend, and you're trying to make me feel better."
"I'm also telling the truth. Kids get fevers. His body is fighting something off, and we're going to help him do that."
