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So that’s why I was now standing in front of my bedroom mirror, debating what to wear.
Completely hopeless, I texted my mom to see if she wanted to come upstairs. I would have yelled down to the living room, but loud noises set off my dad, so it was always better just to text since we always kept our phones on vibrate.
Within a minute, Mom came upstairs. She frowned when she saw me.
“I knew it was bad.” I sat on the bed. “I should just text Sadie and tell her I’m sick.”
“Boo you, wh—”
“Mom,” I said, laughing despite theMean Girlsreference. We must have watched that movie together at least twenty times.
“You look adorable,” Mom said, folding her arms across her chest and looking at me like she might one of her digital designs. “It’s just a little...”
“Dark?” I asked. I had gone with a black shirt and dark jeans.
“Plain,” she replied. She went to my dresser, which I’d unpacked my very first day here, and rifled through the draws. She pulled out a pair of lacy cream-colored shorts and threw them my way. The tag fluttered as they sailed through the air and landed on my lap.
“These are way too short,” I said. “I told you that when you bought them.”
“There’s nothing wrong with showing a little leg!” She winked.
There was when your thighs were as thick as mine, I thought. But Mom would have scolded me to no end if she heard me say that out loud. She was all into body positivity and pushed me to have a good self-image. And I did. For the most part. But I was a teenager; I had eyes. You didn’t get to be eighteen in 3XL clothing without knowing how most people treated big girls.
She left my dresser and went to my closet. After flipping through a few shirts, she brought out a denim shirt with long sleeves. “You can roll the sleeves on this, maybe pair it all with your tan sandals? You’d look so adorable.”
“I’ll try it,” I said. I ripped the tag off the shorts and then changed into them while Mom looked through my jewelry tree.
“Tell me about Sadie. You haven’t said much about her.”
What was there to say about Sadie? “She’s quiet.” We’d exchanged maybe ten words with each other, and most of them happened earlier today.
Mom listened for more.
I pulled off my top and reached for the button up. “She likes sitcoms. Like old ones.” In fact, she’d been watchingGolden Girlsevery day this week.
“Sounds like my kind of gal,” Mom said. She held up a bronze necklace with a dark brown pendant. “Try this too.”
I took it, draping it over my head, and Mom rolled my sleeves for me. With both of them up, she stepped back, taking me in and smiling. “The boys are going to be all over you.”
I snorted. For all the romance movies we’d watched together, I’d never had a boyfriend. I’d never even kissed a guy. And considering the only guy I “knew” at Emerson Academy had a blond, model-type girl all over him, the odds were looking slimmer than ever.
As Mom fluffed out my waves, she said, “You never know what could happen, Apie. One day you’re walking through life, and then all of a sudden someone changes everything.”
I looked up at her, seeing the tired lines around her dark blue eyes. “Is that what happened with Dad?”
She pulled her lips to the side, nodding. “For all the hard times we’ve had, it’s important to look back and remember we had good ones too.”
And then I asked the question I never should. Because I had to know. “Was it worth it?”
She smiled, her lips faltering, and then a car horn sounded outside.
I slapped my hands over my mouth. I’d forgotten to tell Sadie not to honk or ring the bell.
“Have a good time, honey,” Mom said, rushing me out of my bedroom. If Dad was awake, we didn’t have long. “I’ll see you by two?”
I nodded. “Promise.”
She followed me down the stairs, whispering, “Remember, if there’s alcohol there and you decide to drink—”
