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I panicked.
How could he speak of a future with me when he didn’t know anything about what that entailed? My family was my life, and if he wanted to date me, we couldn’t have the kind of fun, carefree relationship he’d have with someone like Kenzie or her friend Deena.
Life with me would be complicated for him.
We wouldn’t be able to hang out at my house like other couples, and I couldn’t go out too often because it wasn’t fair to leave my dad at home with Mom twenty-four/seven. My best bet was to go to nursing school nearby and live at home.
Most kids our age got to imagine their futures. But ever since the injury, it was one day at a time. Dad’s needs came first; mine came second. After all, Dad gaveeverythingfor his country, his family.
A chance at love was a small price to pay in comparison.
Diego deserved better than that.
Better than me.
It had been stupid of me to come on this rafting trip. Dumb to think my life could be anything other than what it was.
Diego and I reached the riverbank, and I stood from the float, letting the water ebb around my waist as I walked to the edge, Diego carrying my tube.
Kenzie offered me another bottle of water and a towel, and I tried as hard as I could to smile as I took them. “Thanks.”
She smiled kindly. “No problem. Did you have fun?”
I felt Diego’s eyes on me as I nodded. “You?”
“Oh yeah,” she grinned, holding up the waterproof phone case she wore around her neck. “This thing is amazing.”
I wished I would have thought of that. My phone was back in Xander’s truck, and I needed to text Sadie. Immediately.
I talked to my mom about everything, but I couldn’t talk to her about this. She would tell me to follow my heart, to spend time with Diego, even though we both knew that wasn’t realistic. In fact, I’d probably be making an emergency trip to Sadie’s family’s art studio tonight if I didn’t get a good phone call in.
“Hungry?” Deena asked me, reaching into a cooler. She looked so cute in her little string bikini. Her stomach didn’t even hang over when she bent over. My mom would say something like all bodies are different. All bodies are beautiful. I tried to believe her.
“Um, yeah,” I said.
Deena passed me a sandwich and a snack bag of carrot sticks. I laid my towel out on the ground beside Kenzie and sat, eating lunch. I was hungry. And when I got stressed out, I ate even more.
Air brushed over my arm, and I looked over to see Diego spreading his towel beside me. Surprised he even wanted to sit by me, I cast him a curious look.
But he just smiled softly, eating his sandwich. Why was he so easygoing? I felt like I could jump out of my skin at any moment, and here he was, relaxed as ever.Cool as a cucumber, my dad used to say.
“Are you going to the game next Friday?” he asked me.
I raised my eyebrows, stunned he would ask. But he waited patiently for my answer.
“If Sadie wants to go,” I said finally.
Diego smiled, looking at his sandwich. “I’ll make sure she wants to go then.”
I laughed. “Sadie’s not much of a football fan.”
“Even after seeing me in my football pants?” he teased with a smirk.
I shook my head at him.
Kenzie laughed. “You’ll get used to him after a while.”
But the truth was, I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to Diego or the way he made me feel. Like I could hope for a different life. One where butterflies were a happy feeling instead of a harbinger of things to come.
