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“You could always learn more,” she said.
Frustration had me gritting my teeth together. “I don’t want to do anything else.”
“But why?” she asked.
When I couldn’t answer, she stood up and pulled her purse over her shoulder. “Call me when you’ve figured out your mission statement.”
I stood up, fear filling my chest. “We can’t work on a business plan or anything else?”
“It wouldn’t matter if we did.”
Thirty-Four
April
Momand I sat on the front porch with Sadie on speaker phone while I told them everything about the rafting trip. The only thing I left out was the sweltering heat of our kiss in the river. (What little I did tell them had my ears and cheeks on fire.)
It felt like telling them about someone else’s life, despite the butterflies skirting my stomach and the heat lingering on my skin. Wasn’t I supposed to know better than falling like this? Hadn’t I seen every wrong way a love story could play out?
And yet, here I was, giggling with my mom and my new friend about a boy who I’d once considered an enemy.
“We have to go dress shopping,” Mom said.
“He hasn’t even asked me yet,” I said.
“But he asked to date you,” Sadie replied, “so he’ll definitely ask you to the dance.”
Mom nodded. “Sadie, you’re going to the dance, right?”
Sadie hesitated. “Maybe? I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
“Either way,” Mom said, “we should go dress shopping. It’s always fun to try on pretty dresses and feel like a princess for a day.”
I could hear the smile in Sadie’s voice as she said, “That does sound like fun.”
Mom and Sadie hadn’t even met in person, and here they were, talking like old friends. I loved it. Even if I got that fearful feeling in the pit of my stomach, like it was all going away soon.
When we got done talking and hung up with Sadie, I got up from the porch swing, pushing the blanket aside so I could go up to bed, but Mom said, “Wait up.”
I sat back down, giving her a questioning look. “What’s up?”
She scratched under her nose and then said, “Your guidance counselor called me today.”
My stomach sank like I was being called to the principal’s office or something. “What? Why?” I shouldn’t have been in trouble or anything. And my grades were good as far as I knew.
“She just wanted to make sure I understood the way they do future planning at Emerson. You’re on her schedule for next week, and you’ll sit with her, talk about what you’re thinking of doing after high school, and I realized in the move we haven’t even talked about your college applications.” A wave of regret crashed over her face. “I’m feeling so awful I let it slip, April.”
“It’s not your college education, Mom. It’s mine. It’s my responsibility.”
She shook her head. “You’re still my daughter. I got so caught up in the move and work and taking care of your dad that I lost sight of something really important. You’re only going to be here for a few more months, honey.”
My chest constricted. “I have eight months until graduation, Mom. That’s a lot of time to plan.”
“I know it feels like you have all the time in the world, hon, but it’ll go by in the blink of an eye. And with the way college applications work, you have even less time than that to make a decision.”
I didn’t like the way she was beating herself up, especially since I planned to go to college nearby so I could help her out. It wasn’t like I was narrowing down colleges across the entire country—just the ones here.
“I’ll figure it out,” I promised. “And I’m sure Mrs. Bardot—Birdie—can help me with some options. Don’t stress, okay?”
