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“But football—” he began.
I cut him off. “I can’t play anymore, Xander. I’m done for the season.”
His jaw went slack. “It’s broken?”
I barely shifted my chin as a fresh wave of regret washed over me. When the ER doctor told me I’d be in a cast for the next six weeks, at least, I knew it was over. All the fun I’d planned on having my senior year... the playoffs, maybe a state championship played with my best friends, gone in an instant.
But still I worried about April. Her dad had been so aggravated. Would he retaliate after that medicine Grace gave him? Were they both okay? How had they made it three years with those kind of blowups in their home?
Over Xander’s shoulder, I spotted April walking through the parking lot, her eyes on the asphalt.
“I gotta go,” I said, pushing past Xander toward my girl. I searched her body, looking for any hint of injury after I’d left. She’d mentioned things being hard with her dad, but never the temper that came with his trauma.
“April,” I breathed, stepping up to her.
She looked up at me, dark circles under her eyes like she hadn’t slept since I’d left. Life only came to her gaze when her eyes landed on my cast. Her full lips parted. “Your wrist.”
“It’s broken,” I finished flatly. I didn’t care about me right now. “Is everything okay at home? Is your dad okay?”
“Broken?” was all she said, her arms folded across her chest like she was trying to hold herself together.
I reached out to touch her shoulders, comfort her, but she stepped away.
It was worse than a slap to the face.
Worse than any mean words she could have said.
“April,” I breathed.
She shook her head, her eyes already shining with moisture. “I told you this would happen.”
“That what would happen?” I asked. “You were in a crisis, and I was there. I told you I’d be there.”
Her voice rose. “My dad had to be sedated! Hebroke your arm!”
I could feel people around us staring, but I didn’t care about them. I had lost one of the best parts of school. I couldn’t lose April too. “Accidents happen, April. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be together.”
She stepped back, staring into my eyes with hers full of pain. “Accidents? You’re in a cast! You should have been at homecoming.”
I pressed my lips together, desperate for a way to make her understand. “You can’t surf a wave without having some scary moments sometimes.”
“This isn’t surfing,” she said sadly. “This is my life. And there’s no getting back on the board. Not when it comes to us.”
My throat tightened. “April, it doesn’t have to be like this.”
“But it is.” She pushed past me, and I turned, holding my hand over my mouth as I watched her go to the school steps. Walking toward the arch that saidAd Meliora.
I just never thought better things for her would mean walking away from me.
Forty-Eight
April
I didn’t wantto be here.
Not in this school. Not in this town.
Not in this moment that felt like fire consuming everything I thought I loved.
