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Birdie set her coffee down and leaned forward. “April, sometimes after students have had a high-pressure experience in high school, they find gap years to be quite helpful.”
“Gap year? Like taking a year off?”
Birdie nodded. “Sometimes they use the year to travel to new countries or work a job and earn extra money. But mostly the time is meant to be spent discovering who you truly are and what you like.”
Mom said, “You might come back and decide you still want to pursue nursing, but I was speaking with Dr. Mason the other day, and she said it’s really common for people who have been traumatized to go into a related field that only triggers them and makes healing more difficult.”
Each word they said hit me one after another, too close to home, until tears were falling down my cheeks.
“April,” Mom said, getting up to comfort me, but I shook my head, letting all the stress, all the tears, out.
“I’m lost,” I said finally.
Birdie nodded sympathetically. “It’s normal, sweetie. I’ve counseled hundreds of seniors at this point. And so many of them don’t know that they have options outside of going straight into college after graduation. That path works well for lots of people, but not everyone, and choosing to do something different doesnotmake you a failure. Maybe you take six months and decide to enroll in December. Or you can push ahead and start in the fall. I just wanted to let you and your mom know that the option is there.”
Birdie pressed herself up from the couch. “I know I just put a lot of information out there for you both, but I am here any time to help. Truly. My stepson is grown and out of the house, and I don’t have any children of my own. I live to help my students.”
I could feel how much she meant it.
My mom stood beside her, giving her a hug. “Thanks for everything, Birdie.”
Birdie smiled, then winked at me. “Any time.”
After Birdie got outside, Mom said, “That woman is something special.”
And I realized I never even said thank you when she was here. “Hang on,” I said, following Birdie outside.
She already had the driver’s side door open on her yellow Bug.
“Birdie?” I called.
She looked up at me and waited by the door. “Did I forget something inside? I tend to do that from time to time.”
I shook my head, walking closer. “I just wanted to thank you for looking out.”
She nodded. “You’d be surprised how many people you have in your corner.”
The way she said it made me think there was something more. “What do you mean?”
She bit her bottom lip, glancing around my driveway before facing me again. “You know that first day of school when Diego brought you to my office?”
Honestly? “I tried to forget it.”
“I would too.” She chuckled slightly. “But when he mentioned that thing about his sister?”
I wracked my brain and then nodded. I’d thought it was so strange, him talking about his sister when I had food all over me.
Birdie tilted her head. “Bringing you to that locker room where Sadie eats lunch? It was no coincidence.”
She got into her car, and as she drove away, the words echoed in my mind.
Diego had been there for me. Even when I hated him, he’d been there for me, making my life better from the start.
Fifty-Five
April
I stayed outside longerthan I needed to, just processing, before I went back inside and sat on the couch by Mom. I tucked my feet under me and leaned against her shoulder.
