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“I meant, what are we doing staying away from each other like we don’t care anymore?”
Her lips parted, but no words came out.
That was okay because I wasn’t done. “I care about you, April. Even when I thought I hated you, I cared about you.”
“But what does that mean?” Her voice cracked. “How could you care about me when my dad hurt you and I shoved you away? You should hate me for what I’ve done.”
I held her hand to my chest, flattening it over my heart. “April, I stood up to your dad because I couldn’t bear the thought of you being hurt. I know I probably made things worse, but you have to understand. I’d do anything for you.”
Her jaw stayed strong despite the moisture forming in her eyes. “You deserve better, Diego. So much better than what I’ve given you.”
I held her face in my hand, wiping away a tear with my thumb. “I know it won’t be easy, and there’s so much for you to work through with your family... But I meant it, what I said during our lesson. I’m here for you. And even when the waves are crashing over us and it feels like they’ll never stop, I...” My voice broke and I swallowed. Because even though I wanted us to get back together, I needed this to make things work. “I want you to be there for me too, even when things get hard. You can’t keep running away.”
Fear took hold of my body. All I’d known was moving away, saying goodbye. “I’m not even sure I know how.”
“But you do,” he said. “I’ve seen how devoted you are to your family. You’d do anything to them. And this dog.” I gestured at Heidi. “She has to be the hardest dog to work with on the planet. You could have quit any time. And you stayed. You stuck it out with her, because you knew she and her family were worth it.” I beat my hand on my chest. “Tell me you think I’m worth it too.”
Tears poured down my cheeks as I felt every word. “Of course you’re worth it.” Diego had seen all my flaws, knew the ugly side of me that argued and yelled and shoved people away. He’d seen my family, been hurt by my dad. And he was only asking me one thing.
“Stay,” he breathed. “Stay with me.”
And then I remembered what my mom had said: I only knew the military life, but that was my parents’ choice. Now the choice was mine.
And instead of fighting, instead of leaving like I’d always done... I stayed.
Fifty-Seven
April
Three Weeks Later
I puton the dress Mom bought for me, adjusting the flowing sleeves and tying the back. Mom looked at me from the bed. “April, you look beautiful.”
“Do you think Dad’s going to like it?”
She nodded. “He’s going to love it.”
I bit my lip, looking in the mirror. “What about Diego?”
“I think he’ll love the dress too,” Mom said.
I shook my head, turning away from the mirror and facing her. “Do you think Dad will be okay meeting Diego?”
“His memory of him is fuzzy, and I think it will help now that Diego’s out of his cast,” Mom reminded me. “And I’ve prepped him over the last week to meet your boyfriend. Shown him pictures of Diego and talked about how good he’s been to you. Extra staff will be there too. Everything will be okay.”
I wanted to believe her, but Dad’s distress mattered too. I wanted him to feel comfortable in his new home, not like we were ambushing him.
The doorbell rang, and I jumped.
It had been so long since we could use the doorbell. But my boyfriend was at the door. And he was ringing the bell. Things changed all the time.
I took a deep breath and focused on the items in the room, reminding me where I was like my therapist had taught me to do. She called it grounding myself in the present, which really helped with my PTSD symptoms.
Mom said, “I need to touch up my makeup. I’ll meet you two in the car?”
I nodded. “See you in a bit.”
I held on to the banister as I walked down the stairs and went to the front door. Diego looked great in dark jeans and a Henley, holding an arrangement of fruit covered in chocolate.
