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Mother Superior begins to follow her granddaughter, and I hear her mutter, “Maybe I made the wrong decision. I need to be harder on her, or she’ll be lost forever. I need to start her punishment immediately.”
“Mother Superior,” I call out, trying to follow her to explain. Fuck. I’ll take the brunt of whatever punishment she has planned to spare her. I didn’t expect this to get so fucked up.
“I have made my decision,” she calls over her shoulder, as she continues away from me. “You would do well to know your place at this school. My granddaughter is my responsibility, and mine alone. Clearly, I’ve been slacking, and this will be remedied immediately. Father Levi, when you’re finished talking to the boys, please come to my office. I may be in need of your assistance.”
Levi nods as she continues to walk away, and only his fingers digging into my shoulder keeps me where I am. “The girl isn’t your concern,” he says, his breath hot against my ear. “If you put her in a shitty position because of your jealousy and misplaced paranoia, that’s no concern of mine, is that understood?” he growls.
How does he know?Blowing out a breath, I nod, as I watch the nun disappear around the corner. Bast glares at me, rubbing his jaw. Fucking baby, he takes harder punches than that during his underground fights.
Levi pushes me towards his office, so the three of us can talk, and I decide he’s right. Life is full of trade offs, and I did what I felt was right. Now she’ll have to stay away from me and my brothers, and life can go back to normal.
Chapter12
Idon’t know what’s going on. Ash has been so nice to me today compared to yesterday, but why did he try to kiss me? I could have gone for a hug, maybe. But a kiss? No. I’m not ready for that, and it brought back memories of forced kisses and roaming hands. I feel on display in the hallway, and too many people are watching. My palms sweat and my throat chokes with bile. I think I might be sick.
I push Ash away and he gives me an expression of confusion and hurt. I shake my head and hold my palm up so he doesn’t come any closer to me.
Bridget laughs behind me cruelly, and I know my face is as red as a cherry tomato. I’m so embarrassed that this is happening in front of so many people, especially her. The room spins and I sway. “Whoa, Chastity, are you okay?” Ash asks with concern, and I can’t look into his golden eyes. I know he doesn’t understand why I’m being so hot and cold, but he’s still making an effort to be nice. I keep my gaze planted on my shoes and will my stomach to calm down. He takes a step closer to me and I whimper.
Memories assault me and I can’t do this. I can’t stand here as everyone witnesses the new girl’s mental instability. Grandmother will send me back to that place. My breath wheezes as I step back. I need to suck it up and fake a stomach ache. I glance up at him and place a hand over my mouth.
“I don’t think I’m feeling well,” I whisper, and look up at him with a fake smile. He nods, taking my arm and leading me to the nurse’s office.
“Let’s get you help,” Ash murmurs, looking concerned, glaring over his shoulder.
“Are you kidding me? You’re not going to be her shining knight forever, Ash.” Bridget shouts from behind me, and I glance back down at the cobblestone floor.
“What’s wrong?” Bastian asks, as he notices us moving into his path. “Chastity, are you okay?”
Pushing my hair out of my face, and swallowing down the nausea I feel, I shake my head. “I don’t feel well, so Ash is walking me to the nurse. It’s actually really nice of him,” I murmur. It’s not completely a lie. My life doesn't agree with me. Why couldn’t he have just left well enough alone? This is all happening too soon, and I’m not ready for it.
Bastian growls in frustration, and a finger pushes my chin upwards. I gulp at the anger shining in his eyes. “What did I tell you about looking down, beautiful? You bow for no one. Now, why are you shaking?”
Ash sighs. “I kissed her and she freaked out. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m doing the right thing and removing her from all of the prying eyes. Bridget was being her usual catty self.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Bastian hisses, and I flinch. I don’t know why he’s so angry right now. There’s always a certain look in his eyes when he talks to me, a softness. I don’t know how to handle Bastian being mad at me.
Bastian gets in Ash’s face, pushing him, and I stumble back, eyes wide. “You couldn’t help yourself, could you?” he growls. Ash smirks cockily and shrugs.
Bastian swings and punches Ash, and I scream. I can’t help it. I’ve been so removed from life, that I don’t know how else to react to such violence. Cringing in the corner, I watch them shove, punch, and yell at each other.
“Please, stop,” I whisper, tears streaming down my face as I wrap my arms around myself. I feel so tiny next to them, the strength of their punches scaring me. They look like they’re very comfortable with violence.
The noise brings people running, and soon, Jonas is helping me up from where I’m cowering. “Hey, hey,” he soothes, and I blink as I look up at him. “They’ll figure it out, they always do. I swear, we’ve all beaten the hell out of each other for one thing or another,” Jonas says with a smirk.
It makes me realize I really don’t know these boys at all. Why the hell did I think that I wanted their attention? The full force of it makes me feel tiny and small. I should have just stayed hidden in Grandmother’s apartment.
“What is the meaning of this? You’re all behaving like animals,” Grandmother snarls, and I can’t help myself, I hide my face in Jonas’ chest.She’s never going to let me out again.He rubs my back and tells me it’s okay.
“Get off of each other and handle it in private,” Father Levi says, stomping across the hallway and pulling Bastian and Ash apart. I peek up and wince as I see Father Levi's stony blue eyes. As angry as he is right now, he’s assessing the damage. It makes me wonder why, but I can’t borrow trouble.
Curiosity killed the cat. I should know. Father Levi whispers furiously in their faces, his fingers digging into their arms as he keeps them away from each other. Unfortunately, it’s not soon enough for them not to hear Grandmother’s words.
“I see you’re already seducing the men at our school, Chastity. These are good, hardworking students that are working to make something of themselves in the eyes of the Lord and the Holy Spirit. This fight happened because of a kiss? Have you learned nothing? Get out of my sight, I’m so disgusted with you right now,” she growls.
I flinch as if she punched me, and bite my lip to keep it from trembling. My grandmother doesn’t appreciate emotions that result in tears, as she thinks that they’re manipulative. I don’t mean for them to be, but it feels as if she’s ripping my heart to shreds. I didn’t ask for that kiss, fight, or any of this to happen today. Clearly, my grandmother is deaf to anything I have to say, so I don’t bother explaining myself.
Curling my lips inwards, locking my words away, I listen to her eviscerate me in front of everyone. People are starting to come into the hallway, and I want to disappear.
