Page 42 of Locked Hearts


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Blinking, I wonder where this is going. The displacement of air is the only warning I get before he spanks me again. Whimpering, I force out my response. “I understand and submit, Sir.”

“Good, good,” he says softly, grabbing a soft tie and beginning to expertly restrain my wrists up to my forearms.

I want to ask him what is next, but I hold my tongue.

Pulling me up, my skirt drops back to my knees, though I swear I can still feel the ghost of his touch.

“Today you are going to think about your sins,” he says, pulling out another silky tie and putting it around my eyes, tying it securely. My breath comes a little faster, as I become worried.

Did Grandmother tell him I can’t be in the dark?

I avoid small spaces or the dark at all costs, because it makes me remember my father’s punishments. He would drop me into a small crawl space under the stairs and leave me in the dark for hours. My breath starts to saw, and Levi stops for a moment.

“You know you’re responsible for making all of this stop, right? This is happening because you’re too stubborn to absolve yourself of your sins by giving them over to me. Tell me you understand,” he demands. Father Levi sounds angry with me, but I can’t do what he wants.

“I understand and submit to my punishment,” I whisper.

“Chastity, stubbornness is as bad as worshiping idols and false Gods,” he sighs. “Please recite the Nicene Creed,” Father demands. “I need to know what you believe to be true.”

I begin to speak the words as he drags me forward by my arms. It feels as if we are leaving the office because it becomes much cooler as we walk.

Shivering, I stumble because I can’t see. And then I hear… “Lord, forgive me,” being whispered before I’m pushed.

Screaming, I look everywhere, but can’t because of the damn blindfold. A clunking sound comes from above, and I immediately start to get claustrophobic.

“Please, don’t close me in,” I scream. “God, I can’t do this again. No, no…” I start to panic.

My hands are tied behind my back and I struggle to think. I have to get the blindfold off. I need to see! Walking slowly forwards as I cry, I manage two steps before bumping into a rough wall. Beginning to hyperventilate, I walk two more steps to the side and hit another wall. Sticking my foot straight back, I touch another wall.

Shoot.

Collapsing onto my knees, I lean towards the wall in front of me, and start to work the blindfold off. “Father Levi,” I scream. I feel so betrayed right now. He told me it was going to be worse, but I can’t handle the darkness. I wonder if he knew, if Grandmother was in on this. Would she honestly let him torture me like this? This isn’t punishment. This is my worst nightmare, and hell on Earth. Working the blindfold up on one side, I blink and still see darkness.

Hoping my eyes will adjust, I see more darkness, and everything is silent.

Where am I?!

Crying, I pray to my Heavenly Father to just take me. “Please, God, forgive me for my failures. I’m sorry I’m not stronger,” I gasp, dropping my head back onto the rough stone. “I’m so sorry that I let him touch me, because it’s my fault, right? My beauty is my curse. It seduces men and tells them lies. The devil must live inside of me if these things keep happening. Please, please,” I gasp.

I lose track of time as I cry, muttering to myself in half prayers, and screaming at the walls at how unfair this is.

I have no idea how much time has passed before the hatch is opened and I can see light. My blindfold is still on but askew, and I lost the will to try to remove it when I realized the darkness was all around me. Lifting my head, I scream. “Please don’t leave me down here. I’ll do anything. I’ll tell you anything. Please,” I sob.

Father Levi stands above me, looking like a tortured man. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” he whispers. Powerful arms grab me, as he hauls me up and out of the pit. Sobbing, I collapse against him and he holds me to his chest. He pulls the blindfold off completely and unties my hands. Clinging to him, it's the human touch I need after being in that sensory deprivation.

“I can’t any more,” I moan. “I just want it to end,” I whisper.

Father Levi picks me up in his arms and strides out of wherever we are. I should give a shit about it because it reminds me of the caverns that I followed the guys into, but I’m too raw.

“I know you don’t mean that, Chastity. You have so much life to live,” he says, as he finally steps back into his office from wherever we were, and sits in his chair with me still on his lap.

Trying to scramble out of his arms, he squeezes me gently. “Please, just give me this. I shouldn’t have done that, and I’m so sorry. I need to help you. Just relax, listen to my heartbeat, and know you’re safe, okay?”

Shuddering, I nod, and against my better judgment, I lay my head on his chest. Father Levi gently holds me, and while I wait for his hands to roam inappropriately, they never once do. Sinking into him, I let myself feel safe for just a moment. All that matters is that he pulled me out of the pit. I know he put me inside of it to begin with, but I can tell he didn’t know my father used to do this to me for hours on end to punish me.

“I want to be truthful with you right now, can I do that?” Father Levi asks, and I look up at him and nod. He blows out a breath as he looks down at me. “I didn’t know you were afraid of the dark, and if I had, I would have found a different lesson for you. It was on the list of approved punishments…”

He trails off as my eyes grow wide. “Grandmother knows I’m scared shitless of the dark,” I whisper. Father Levi appears a bit amused by my language and I cringe. “I’m sorry. I’m feeling a bit raw at the moment, Father.”

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