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“Wow, I guess we should be honored to have the perfect ‘Little Miss Innocent’ join our school,” Bridget sneers as Chastity is led from the dining hall, and her friends laugh. Chastity looks back at us, her cheeks pinked from embarrassment, or maybe shame.
“I guess the Princess is too good to eat with us common folks,” Ash grumbles and I flinch, shaking my head.
“She was shy and kind. I don’t think she’s that type of way,” I defend her, but he’s not listening. Ash has trouble opening up to people and being nice. I think Chastity just blew her one shot at being his friend. But I don’t care. There is something about her that makes me want to protect her and keep her by my side. I have never felt a connection so strong.
Chapter3
“Did you really need to do that?” I whisper as my grandmother drags me by the wrist up the stairs and to our apartment. I have never been more embarrassed, and that’s saying something. I understand that I’m here for redemption, and it’s my last chance to make something of myself, but can’t I just be a fly on the wall?
Now everyone knows that one: Mother Cross is my grandmother, and two: I’m prohibited from co-mingling with my peers outside of the classroom.
“I wasn’t doing anything wrong, Grandmother.” She pauses at the top of the steps, releasing my wrist. I gently massage it and avoid her eyes.
“I told you not to call me that, Chastity. I stopped being your grandmother the moment you decided to sin and blacken the Cross family name.” A sob clogs my throat and I look at her with tears in my eyes.
I didn’t become a ‘Cross’ in name until my father banished me and stripped my title away.
“No one will ever listen or believe me,” I choke out, and she rolls her eyes with a huff, then spins around and walks to our apartment.
“I’ve heard the excuses before, Chastity. Not another word,” she snaps, not giving me the decency to look back at me. I wait for her to open the door and enter before letting my tears fall.
I stay in the hall until I am composed again, then I walk inside, over to the small table where a chicken is sitting in the middle. It smells delicious, but I’ve lost my appetite. I’d rather be sitting in a dining hall as the students gossiped about me, then in this room, so chilling from the glares my grandmother is giving me.
But still, I sit and bow my head as she prays. I don’t want to fight anymore tonight. I just want to get this meal over with, then lock myself in my room. I do the sign of the cross with my hand and say, “Amen”, then take a small portion of the roasted chicken and potatoes.
We eat in silence until she sighs and looks up at me. “I’m sorry for being so blunt back there. I know deep down you’re a good girl, Chastity. I myself was once young and made mistakes. I know you want to follow God’s ways and be good. I just hope you can take this experience of redemption to heart.” She doesn’t give me time to reply, quickly standing from the table and placing her dirty dish in the sink, before walking to her side of the apartment. “Goodnight, child. Classes start tomorrow morning, seven sharp.”
I give her a nod, then she shuts her door and once again I’m alone. I push my chair back and stand, then take what's leftover and place it in the fridge. My plate sits on the table still full. I should probably try to eat a little, but once again, my emotions have taken over. I have no appetite, and I can’t force another bite down. I lift the plate and dump it into the trash.
I’m glad for the quiet, but my thoughts are too loud.
Walking to my room, I relive every harsh word in the dining room, and every lie my grandmother believes. I’m guilty of trusting too easily, and now my life will never be the same.
Tears fill my eyes and I let them fall. It’s not like anyone is nearby to see my weakness, my pain. The way I’m dying inside, with every breath I take, as I keep a mask placed firmly over my face.
Not that it would matter much. No one cares to notice me these days.
I leave the dishes for later and go to my room, making sure the door is firmly closed and locked. My bag sits on the floor still packed and I hesitate not to just take it and run. Run away for good. No one would miss the little mouse who cowers so she won’t be noticed. Maybe I could find someone out there to help me. To take on my cause, so for once, it wouldn’t all rest on my weak shoulders.
Yeah, that's a prayer that will never be answered.
I sit on the bed and reach for my notebook. I have always liked writing. I love how I can purge my emotions and make something beautiful from it. I thought, maybe one day, I'd be an author. Well, as a side job. Before everything happened, I was still on course to take over the church, until it was my time to run the Academy.
I flip back to when I was locked in my room, dealing with the aftermath of my sins. They kept me away from everyone for months, punishing me, and having me plead to God for salvation. My knees are still sore from all the hours I prayed.
I begged and pleaded for months for someone to help me. Listen to me. Trust me. I just wanted a chance to tell my story, and have someone believe me. My prayers were left unanswered though, like so many before.
So I stayed locked and hidden away in my room with no one to talk to. No phone, TV, or internet. Just some books Jacob snuck to me from the library and my notebook.
I trace over the ink, smudged from my tears, as I wrote my heart out about what had happened to me. The real truth. I wanted to type it out and send it to the media, to anyone who would finally inform our community about the man they trust and admire.
They've all been fooled, and I pray I'm his only victim. To even think that he’s still out there, doing what he did to me, makes me ill and angry.
Memories flash in my mind and I need to do something to get rid of them. I can still smell the candles and his cologne. I can taste the musk and vomit on my tongue. I gasp as the memories consume me.
No! No!
I race off the bed, grab my case and stumble into my bathroom, quickly undressing and climb into my shower.
