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“Ah!” I half moan, half yell, my thighs rubbing together for a friction I didn’t know I needed.
“Bad girls don’t get to come,” Levi shouts, kicking my legs apart.
I don’t know what a lot of his words mean, but as Levi opens my ass cheeks, staring at my panties, I whimper. I’m embarrassed by him staring, knowing I probably have a wet spot on them. Levi bites one cheek and my core throbs. I feel needy in a way I never have before.
“You are amazing, and I never want you to feel embarrassed around me, little sinner,” he says. I look over my shoulder, his powerful frame and side profile are all I can see. I feel a slow touch right along the wet patch that’s steadily growing, and whimper in need.
“Do you feel me touching you, Chastity?” Levi asks, pressing down just a little more, but avoiding where I ache.
“Yes, Sir,” I groan. “It feels so good. I’ve never had anyone touch me like that.” Every word is true, because my experience with sex has always been cruel, and has hurt every time.
Even as he teases me, there’s a warmth traveling up my thighs and I’m trembling.
Levi steps away and spanks my other side. My core clenches and I gasp.
“I am in control of your pleasure. You don’t get to come until I say so, and because we are practicing self deprivation, it won’t be any time soon. I think I’ll enjoy hearing you beg, little sinner.”
I lose myself in the sensations as he spanks me. Shaking, I'm closer to a release than I think he realizes.Will he punish me if I orgasm without permission?I have never experienced one before, so I’m not sure what I’m feeling as warmth and tingles spread along my body.
Reaching down, Levi cups my breast before pinching hard. “Argh!” I scream, bucking my body into his. His erection digs into my ass as his warm chest covers me.
“Yes, little sinner. Please, scream for me. I can tell you’re getting lost in the sensations, and you’re so close to orgasming. You aren’t allowed to do that unless you’re clenching on my cock though, is that understood?” Levi taunts me, punishing my nipples. “What are you doing to me, Temptress?” Levi groans into my ear as he kisses my jaw and neck.
My panties are soaked, and I want nothing more than for him to take me back to his place, but I’m not ready. Kissing and touching is one thing, but for him to actually have sex with me… I’m not ready for that. He thinks it’s because I’m a virgin, and that’s for the best. Will he look at me differently when he finds out the truth? Will he treat me like the damaged girl I am? I hope not. For the first time in a long time, I’m starting to feel happy. Like I could be the girl I used to be again. Just a little broken, held together with tape.
I do know one thing for sure; I am not ready for a relationship. I'd like to just be young and free for once. I've been blamed and called a whore, time and time again, so now I might as well act like it.
Chapter22
Sister Mary asked me again to join the choir and I’m going to try. This is just another step towards healing. I also threw away the blade I kept hidden in my toiletry bag last week. Levi made another comment about the slices on my thighs, and I felt self conscious.
During the punishment when I was in the dark, I promised that I wouldn’t cut when I get overly emotional, or try to kill myself. The blade is too much temptation, if something were to really upset me, so I decided to find other coping mechanisms. I always try to keep my promises, and I’m making steps so that I can do that.
Plus, Tempest has been a saving grace to me. I've never had girlfriends before. Talking with her is helping me process my feelings when they overcome me, and I feel like nothing is going right. I wasn't allowed to socialize with anyone because my father deemed them all to be sinful, so it’s nice to have her by my side. He was so careful to protect his precious daughter from the outside world, but he ignored his inner circle. They were the real danger. Funny how things work out.
I still can't believe she's King's step-sister. I thought for sure she was going to beat my ass when I moved in, but really she just wanted to know the truth about our relationship.
I know she has feelings for him, and to be honest, I can’t judge. King is her step-brother, but they didn’t grow up together. They caught feelings while they lived in the same house. I have feelings for four guys, and if I'm open to new things, I think I have my first girl crush, too.
I never saw myself as bisexual, and the girls are so mean, there’s no one I would have been attracted to. That was another sin of the church, but Tempest is so sweet to me, and when we watch movies sometimes on the couch, she cuddles up to me and I wonder.
Her skin brushes against mine when we walk, and she’s very affectionate. Tempest snuck alcohol into our room the other day, and we chatted and giggled. She was so soft, so warm as she leaned in to talk to me, and I felt my core clench the way that it does when one of the guys turns me on. What would it be like to kiss another girl? Would her lips be rough and passionate like Levi's, or soft and plump like my own?
I'd never make the first move, I don’t think. What if I’m wrong and she doesn’t like me in that way? What if she’s just naturally affectionate and I’m making more out of this than it is? She’s my best friend here. I don’t want to mess this up.
Who am I? And what happened to the girl I was when I first arrived? I shake my head of these sinful thoughts and try to focus on what Levi is preaching. Ugh, it’s so hard to pay attention when he keeps glancing my way and licking his bottom lip.
If he's not careful, people are going to figure out that we had a super hot makeout session the other day, among the other things. I bite the tip of my pen cap, and recross my legs. So often he doesn’t act like a normal priest, and I don’t know what to make of him.
“Miss Cross, please stay behind,” Levi says right when the bell rings. I nod and don't move.
“I'll see you later, Songbird,” Jonas says and I melt a little when he calls me that. We’ve been spending more time together now that I have more freedom without my grandmother breathing down my throat, and I’ll usually invite Jonas or Bast to come bake with me at night.
I give Jonas a wave and he smiles, making me catch my breath. I can tell something weighs heavily on his shoulders most days, but when he gives me a glimpse of his sweet side, my heart races and I just want to lean over and kiss him silly.
The door closes and Levi doesn't waste any time. He moves over to where I'm sitting and turns me so I'm facing the aisle, then slides his hands along my thighs, spreading my legs wider. He drops to his knees and I gasp when he kisses my bare flesh.
“So sweet,” he groans. “Do you know how badly you've been teasing me all class?” I grip the chair and desk when he tugs my center closer to his face. His scruff chafes my thighs, but it feels incredible.
