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I have no idea who that is, but I like hearing Jonas talk. He has a soft, mellow tone. I wonder if he sings? I bet he has an amazing voice.
There is something about him that sets me at ease. I usually cower at being alone with any person of the opposite gender, but he reminds me of King; sweet, and soft-spoken. The boy I ruined, even though I didn’t mean to.
I should probably leave. He doesn’t know I’m a Cross, and if he’s down here at this hour, who knows who else might be popping in. He’s more than capable of pulling out the goodies when the timer dings.
I finish cleaning and wipe my hands on a towel. I’m about to make an excuse to leave when the timer buzzes. I grab the oven mitts I had found in a drawer next to the industrial sized sink with a sigh. A warm body slides up next to me and opens the door to the oven as I reach in and pull out the tray of cookies. The brownies will take a little while longer. I set the tray on the stove and turn away from Jonas.
“Thank you. I should probably get to bed.” He nods and takes his seat once more by the counter, that bag of chips still clutched in his hands. “If you wouldn’t mind removing the brownies when they are done,” I ask and he nods once again, but this time looks forlorn.
“I won’t bite, if you’d like to stay. I didn’t mean to intrude on your alone time,” he says sadly, and I find myself hesitating.
“No, that’s not it at all. I’m not supposed to be out of bed… but, I guess I could wait a few minutes more.” I cave. He looks like a sad puppy, and I know what it’s like to crave someone to talk to.
“I have always loved to bake late at night when no one is around. It sets my soul at ease when I can’t sleep. I also like to cook. It became my job at home. Preparing meals for my family.” I end up confiding in this boy I hardly know, and I find myself smiling, until I remember I’m no longer welcome at home. I turn away from him and dish up the still cooling cookies onto two plates. I take a few deep breaths, fighting not to break down in front of this guy.
“Hey, where did you go there?” Jonas asks softly. He stands and leans over the island, squeezing my hand.
“Sorry, sometimes I space out. Today was a rough day, but it's looking better now.” I give him a smile and hand him a plate full of the lemon cookies.
He bites into one and groans.
“Wow, this is incredible. The tart from the lemon, and the sweet bites with the white chocolate. I’ve never had anything like it.” I watch as he shoves another in his mouth and I nibble on one myself.
I have to agree, they did turn out yummy. The kitchen fills with the aroma of baked chocolate, so I spin to check on the brownies.
They need another minute. I have no plans to eat these. So when they are done, I’ll let them cool then put them in some foil for Jonas to take.
When they're done, I remove them from the oven and let them cool, continuing to chat with Jonas. He's sweet and smart, and I find myself losing track of time.
I put the brownies on a plate with foil and place them next to him. “If you'd like to take them with you, they are all yours, but I really should get to bed,” I say with another yawn. Jonas nods, agreeing, and puts his hand down as I reach for his empty cookie plate.
“No, go to bed. I’ll finish cleaning up here. It was great to meet you, Chastity.” I blush and nibble on my bottom lip, then shuffle a little closer to him. I’m hesitant and he can tell, as I quickly give him a hug. I don’t feel the usual pinpricks of unease at touching another person, and sigh before rushing away.
“Goodnight,” I hear Jonas call from over my shoulder with a chuckle. I don’t reply and keep moving to the apartment with a huge grin on my face.
I sneak back inside and into my room, then softly close the door. My bag is still sitting there on the floor, taunting me. I really should put it away. It’s looking like I’m going to be stuck here. Bending down, I grab my duffle then drop it onto the bed. I spend the next few minutes unpacking and hanging up the few dresses I have. They are all modest, and I probably won’t bother wearing them, but to see the floral print once more is a gift.
Being in that mental health clinic, the boring, drab, gray dresses we had to wear got really old. For a place that’s supposed to make you better, less insane, it sure is bleak. My depression only got worse while I was kept there.
I still don’t understand why I couldn’t just come straight here to Holy Cross, but I was told it wasn’t time yet. I was hoping to ask my grandmother about that, but the way she’s acting, I don’t think we will be having many heart to heart conversations.
I should just count my blessings that I’m finally away from that place and am here. Tomorrow classes will start, and maybe I can run into my new friend, or make some more.
I turn down the blankets and climb into bed with a smile on my face, and an emotion I haven’t felt in a long time; hope.
* * *
Hands holdme down and wine drowns me as he presses the glass to my lips. I shake my head, but it’s no use. The dark red liquid chokes me as I fight not to swallow. I know I have made him angry, but why is he punishing me like this?
He knows what my father will do if I come home drunk. Isn’t it bad enough that he stole something from me that I will never get back?
My thighs ache and it hurts to move. I spit out the alcohol and he slaps me across the face.
I wakeup gasping for air and look around. There's a dim light shining over the trees outside my window. A noise outside of my door has me clutching the sheets tighter and pulling them over my head. I once thought that keeping my head covered would keep the monsters away. How was I to know that the monsters don’t just stalk at night, but shine in the day too?
Chapter6
I’m dreaming about some temptress dropping to her knees in front of me and reaching for the band to my sweats when I’m rudely interrupted by a phone ringing.
