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“I take it she doesn’t buy into the fated mates forever and ever amen.”
“Nope, not one damn bit,” I tell him as I wipe a hand down my tired face. I look at the floor unable to take his pity. “I know that once we manage to eliminate Scar and she’s safe. I will never see her again.”
“Does she know what that means for you?”
“I don’t think she gives a damn what that means, Jacob.” And who could blame her? I can see clearly now that doing the wrong thing for the right reasons is still wrong, no matter how I justify it. I don’t blame her even if I could.
“But you’re mates, Seven. If she renounces you, you could lose all your humanity,” Jacob says. I can see the concern on his face, which makes it even more real. “That’s a death sentence. The council won’t let you roam free like that. You know that as well as I do. You were there when they made the rules.”
“I know, but without Grace, I don’t really give a shit. I don’t want to live without her anyway.”
“Does that mean you’ve already thrown in the towel? Because that’s what I’m hearing and that doesn’t sound like the man I know.”
“The man you know hadn’t lost the only thing he ever wanted.”
“Seven—” Jacob chastises.
“Talking about it doesn’t change anything, Jacob. Are you and Endy going back tomorrow?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Yeah. Oracle says we’re strong enough to resist any residual hold that Scar could have on us.”
“Jay seems pretty strong,” I tell him. “You’re building a good group there.”
Jacob nods in agreement, a smirk coming to his face. “Yeah, Jay has carried a lot of guilt. He escaped that place with others but once he was out, he didn’t go back to check on them. That hurt him, but hell man, we were all terrified. When he first arrived, he was hopeful we were the brothers he’d known.”
“Shit, there’s no reason to feel guilt. We all just wanted to survive.” I think back on that time often. At times it feels like a lifetime ago and in the same breath just mere minutes.
“That’s all we still want—except for those of us who plan on giving up on life,” he says pointedly.
“I’m not giving up. I’ll be around until…” I stop talking and just shrug.
“Until you feel the humanity leave?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think Grace will discover that her leaving is sentencing you to death?”
“No! And she never will,” I snarl. She deserves to have the freedom of choice. If she knew, she might change her mind but not for the right reason.
Jacob looks at me for a second before fighting off a yawn. “I’m going to go find my bed. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m as weak as a kitten.”
I chuckle as I lay back on the couch, closing my eyes as Jacob shuts off the light on his way out.
There will be no Grace coming to invite me into our…her bed tonight. God, I fucking miss her.
28
GRACE
God, I miss her…
It’s a strange feeling to hear the words in my head and not with my ears. I know without a doubt that it’s from Seven. I sit up in bed, pushing my back against the headboard.
“I miss you too,” I whisper. I know I mean it, but I’m disgusted that it’s true. This whole situation feels like it’s slowly killing me.
I’ve heard his voice a few times in my head over the last few days. It took a minute to realize it’s him. The first time I jumped thinking he was playing a trick on me, hiding in the room so I would have to talk to him. Now that I’ve heard it enough, I can’t even blame him or demand he stops. I’m not sure he means to with the space he’s given me. I doubt he would try to talk to me in my brain and freak me out more than I already am. Add in that I can apparently see dead people…I’ve had to figure out that I’m… not human either.
My own brain feels like the enemy sometimes. With all the stuff that has happened, part of me that wonders if I’ve just disconnected from reality. I’ve thought about searching out Dr. Brashear, but Lucy begged me not to while Oracle flat-out forbid it. I’m not one to cower to what someone orders me to do, but Oracle? The man floats instead of walking. I blamed it on a lack of sleep and my addled brain until Lucy demanded he lift his robe to show me.
I’ve also learned that he can make things move without touching them. He made me a cup of coffee, adding creamer and stirring it yesterday morning. It sounds normal, but he did it all from across the room—not actually touching anything.
