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“I’m not your fucking hero. This isn’t your fairytale.”
She grimaced, aware I was going to say something nasty, and I didn’t disappoint…
Spewing, I said, “I’m your fucking villain and don’t you ever forget that.”
Nine
Haven
“Mama, whatcha doing?” I asked, jumping onto her bed.
“I’m just sewing some of your daddy’s jeans. He ripped them again.”
“That’s because he’s always on a horse.”
“You’re right about that.”
I smiled. “Can you sew my jeans after you’re done?”
“Again? I just fixed them last week.”
“I know.”
“What happened this time?”
“Reid’s horse doesn’t like me very much.”
“That’s because you keep pulling his tail.”
I shrugged. “I was just trying to braid it.”
“Honey, how many times have we told you that you can’t braid that horse’s tail?”
I shrugged again. “But it’s so long and pretty.”
She chuckled. “You’re silly.”
“Mama,” I addressed. “I’ve been reading about Paris. I think we should start there.”
“Paris huh?”
“Yeah! It’s got the Eiffel Tower and it’s like super fancy. We could wear nice dresses and prance around like locals.”
“I’d love that.”
“I can’t wait, Mama!”
“Shhh… Don’t let your daddy or brothers hear you.”
I giggled. “I love our little secret.”
Living in the shadows of my five older brothers was sometimes really hard on me. Mama always tried to remind me how long they waited for me to make my appearance into the world. Telling me often how they tried five times and ended up with five boys because of it until finally, I came along.
Mama said we had a special relationship, and she prayed to God for a baby girl just like me for twenty-three years. It was how long they’d been married. Daddy said God knew I was going to be so beautiful that I needed five big brothers to protect me.
It was why we couldn’t tell them about our special trip for the summer after I graduated from high school. They’d be too worried about us. It would only be the two of us and I couldn’t wait. I wished it was tomorrow instead of nine years from now.
Thinking about that, I remarked, “Time needs to move faster.”
“Teeny, don’t wish the days away. It’ll be here before you know it.”
“Okay, Mama.”
“You’re growing up so fast.” She set Daddy’s jeans aside. “One day you won’t be my baby girl anymore.”
I laid my head on her lap, so she could play with my hair like she always did before I went to bed. She’d read to me, and I’d fall asleep just like this.
“Mama, I’ll always be your baby.”
“One day you’ll be someone else’s baby.”
“Eww… I don’t even like boys. I only love my brothers.”
She smiled at me. “It won’t always be that way.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’ll make sure you meet the perfect guy one day.”
“You will?”
“Mmm hmm…”
“How?”
“Because it’s what Mamas do.” She kissed my forehead. “So, where else should we travel to while we’re abroad?”
“How about Italy?”
“I love that idea.”
“We can all the pizza!”
“Yes! And pasta!”
I gasped. “I love lasagna!”
“It’s your favorite. I know what else is your favorite…”
I beamed.
“The tickle monster!”
I laughed before she even started tickling me. “I love you, Mama.”
“I love you too, baby. Always and forever. It’s you and me.”
I gasped, sitting straight up in my bed with my hand over my heart.
“Shit,” I whispered, trying to catch my bearings.
I don’t know how long I stayed like that, lost in the past through my dreams. They were getting more intense the closer I got to graduation which was still months away. I threw the blankets off my body, covered in sweat. The sheets were sticking to my overly heighten skin. Grabbing my phone next, I checked what time it was.
3:05am.
“Great…”
I had to be at the bar early to work a shift before the big football game that night. We were playing our rival school in Hayes’s town. Given we were undefeated, the stands would be packed with families excited to watch. They were always my favorite games to cheer at. I loved feeding off the energy of the crowd. There was nothing else in the world like it. It was pure adrenaline.
My squad was the best. We’d won state for the last three years and this year wouldn’t be any different. I couldn’t wait to perform our new routine at halftime during the game that night. I was a flyer which meant I was one of the girls who were tossed in the air by her bases.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my robe and went downstairs to make some chamomile tea. It was always hard for me to fall back asleep after I dreamed about her. My body was restless, dreaming about the things I’d never be able to change.
No matter how much I wanted.
Prayed.
Wished…
It was permanent.
Exactly how my dreams of her were for me.
“Hey, Teeny,” Troy greeted, sitting at the kitchen island.
I wasn’t surprised to find him there. Troy was the youngest of the boys, and three years older than me.
