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There comes a moment in every man’s life…and I had plenty of them. Except this one would destroy the only woman I’d ever loved.
My heart pounded out of my chest as the walls caved in on me. Time once again stood still for us.
Nothing moving.
Especially me.
Bile burned in the back of my throat, threatening to surface. There was a familiar sentiment in the air, the feeling of death. Burned into our senses, whether I wanted it to be or not. The memory of that day played out in front of me, over and over in my mind. On instant replay, I was powerless to stop it.
It always had been.
It always would be.
Regret.
Guilt.
Shame.
They also lived inside of me.
We were one and the same.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. As much as I wanted to tell her the truth, I couldn’t bring myself to actually do it.
“You son of a bitch,” Jace accused. “You can’t do it, can you?”
I glared at him, feeling the weight of his words as my jaw clenched.
“Don’t worry, I have no fucking problem telling her the truth about you.”
Her eyes stayed locked with mine. Almost like they were fused together, and nothing could break them apart, but the truth hidden in plain sight.
Me.
That was when I truly lost it.
That was when it really hit me.
I was alone.
Abandoned.
I deserved it.
I shuddered, my body giving out on me. Any ounce of strength I had left, vanished like a thief in the night. It was the only comfort I had since the day my mother left me too.
My vision blurred.
My throat seized.
“Please…” Haven pleaded, simply reminding me of that day.
“Please, just tell me the truth.”
I wanted something, anything, to keep me from feeling the emotions that were dragging me down, deeper and deeper into the pit of my own misery I created. I had no one to blame but myself. It was my fault. It’d always be my fucking fault.
No matter how much I hoped.
Prayed.
Begged for it not to be.
Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours. I stood there like a man on death row, waiting for his execution. Except mine didn’t come in the form of a needle or an electric chair, mine came with seven words out of the mouth of one of the men’s lives I ruined.
The irony was not lost on me.
Losing Haven was my condemnation and punishment when Jace revealed…
“His mother killed ours because of him.”
Those words were all it took to throw me right back to that day where we all lost…
Our moms.
Thirty-Five
Hayes
My mother answered the sheriff’s call from my phone. “Hey, baby,”
“Mrs. Hayes,” the sheriff greeted, pulling me out of the noisy house with him. “Give me a second.”
Once we were standing by his sheriff’s car on the street, he hit speaker on my cellphone, purposely wanting me to listen to her anguish.
“Mrs. Hayes,” he announced. “Are you still there?”
“Yes,” she replied with an immediate unease in her tone. “Who is this? Is Chase all right?”
“I’m sorry to do this to you, but it’s Sheriff Thomas.”
“Oh my god…”
Even with hearing the desperation in her voice, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her and I hated that it was happening without my consent.
I glared at sheriff with such distain. I’d rather he arrests me than hear this conversation between them.
“I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but your son is in my custody.”
“What? Why? What happened?”
She couldn’t get her questions out fast enough. They flew out of her.
“We got an anonymous call there was an underage party and your son was found carrying a lot of illegal narcotics on him.”
“What?!”
“I hate to be the one who breaks this to you. However, by the look of him, I don’t think he’s under the influence, so I’m almost certain his intent was to sell and distribute.”
“Oh my God…”
I shut my eyes, I had to. The shame was eating me alive.
“Listen, I’ve been called to your home enough over the years to know you’ve both been through a lot. Because of that, I’m going to give him this chance and not arrest him. But I’m going to trust you’ll handle him instead.”
“I can’t believe this. Does my husband know?”
“Given your family’s history, I haven’t called him.”
She blew out a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much, Sheriff Thomas. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for doing this for my boy. Please rest assured that I’ll handle him, and this won’t ever happen again.”
“For both of your sake, I hope that’s true. We’re at 3927 Parkwood Avenue. I won’t release him from my custody until you come pick him up.”
I heard the signal blinker of her car. “I just left the grocery store. I’m on my way now.”
“Just so we’re clear, if I catch him in this situation again, the law will handle it next time.”
