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Roxie squeezes hard once, tearing strands of hair from the roots, before thrusting me away. My hands slap on the floor, breaking my fall and saving my face from smashing against the floor once more.
Tears drop from my eyes to water the ground. The shakes take over, one full-body shiver followed by trembling. My gap tooth clatters against my bottom teeth and I clamp my jaws, but to no avail. My nostrils are blocked; globs of snot smack the floor.
I gag.Gross.
Shock sets in. My mind drops in a trance as I try to scoop up the food with my scraped fingers and place it on the tray, but it’s hard to do through my blurry vision.
From the corner of my eye, I see Monica stand up with a sigh. She stalks toward the crime scene and turns on Lucian. “I don’t know why she came up to you, but she must have had a good reason. You’re a real asshole, you know that?”
Monica is a Lupu girl, but she has clout. Lucian glowers at her.
“This is between bitches. Since when do I step in on a fight betweengirls?”
“Yeah, well next time, control your bitch,” she retorts with a toss of her head.
Roxie opens her mouth, but Monica raises her hand, stopping her in her tracks. “Don’t even. I don’t give a shit what happened, but whatever it was, it ends now. She’s a Lupu, for God’s sake. She doesn’t want your man, Roxie. Stop acting like she’s challenging you. You know damn well that one Lupu-Popescu marriage doesn’t make a pattern. Get over yourself.”
Glaring down at me, Monica says in disgust, “Leave it, already.”
She grasps my elbow and hauls me up to my feet. I try to hold on, but the tray slips from my shaky grasp and clatters to the floor. With a quivering hand, I’m barely steady enough to sweep up the piece of tooth from the floor and tuck it into my pocket.
Bits and pieces of food fall off me as I crouch, plunking down on the linoleum floor with a wet plopping sound. Dazed, I numbly move to retrieve the tray, but she snaps, “For God’s sake, you’ve done enough for one day.”
I stifle a huge sob, letting it shudder through my frame. As if it’s not bad enough that I’ve completely disgraced myself, I’ve also disgraced my clan.
Despite my humiliation, I glance up at Lucian.
The muscle in his jaw is ticking a mile a minute. His gaze is lasering through the crowd of students, daring them to make a sound.
Boys leer at my chest and my shoulders curl inward.
Slashing a ferocious look my way, he barks at me, “Cover yourself.”
As I grasp the sides of my shirt and clutch them together, he stares the boys down until they divert their eyes.
Monica yanks my arm impatiently and pulls me to standing, but I slip and crash back to the floor. Gleeful cackles ripple out behind me. Monica sighs with exasperation.
Shame burns through me. My face is hot, my cheeks are scalding like they’re on fire. I swallow down a mixture of blood and saliva, grimacing at the taste. This is the taste of humiliation.Why can’t I just die?Right this moment. I squeeze my eyes closed and pray to disappear, but when I snap them open, no, I’m still here.
I take a deep whiff of metallic blood and spoiled food and tears, and swallow down the bile that’s gurgled up my throat. I lick my lips and get another nasty mouthful.
Breathe it. Taste it. Swallow it.
Never forget it.
And never forgive.
“Hey,” says Lucian, directed either to me or Monica. I wouldn’t know since I have my head down, fixed on one gray square of linoleum.
“Don’t ever fucking talk to me that way,” he warns.
His gaze rakes over me, a curl on his lips as if to say:How could you think to approach me? Look at yourself, covered in blood and spaghetti. Embarrassing yourself. Embarrassing your clan.
Oh, don’t worry,I drill back into him with every ounce of loathing in my body.I’ll never talk to you again. Never approach you. Never look at you again. Ihateyou.
I’ve kept to myself and tried to stay under the radar. I never asked to tutor him. I never asked to be around him. He pretends to treat me like a human only to screw me over. And then when I have no choice to approach him, he allowsthisto happen.
I glare at every arrogant line of his face, memorizing it. A sick, twisted part of me still wants him and I hate him even more for it. Rage and revulsion surges through me. Rage at him. Revulsion at myself.
