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Despite the tug-of-war between us over the years, he’s giving me a chance to back out. But that question, in this pivotal moment, suddenly freezes me. I’m a good girl. Always have been. Sure, I want to assert myself in the world with my bucket list, but this virgin thing is a big deal. If I do this now, I will never be able to offer this gift to my husband. I know it’s stupid and anti-feminist, but I’mmafieto the core and this is a core value.
At the same time, I’m not leaving here with my hymen intact. I love the way Lucian takes control. I’ve seen more than a few glimpses of it, and I’ve had more fantasies about him than I can count. I want this, and for him to take it from me would be the cherry on top.
So what do I do to resolve this inner tussle? I gaze up at him and demand, “I want you to force me.”
His hips punch forward and he grips his cock hard to get a hold of himself. Okaaay…clearly this has been a running fantasy for him, too.
“Oh, I see,” he replies. “You want dirty sex with a badmafiedude and still stay the good girl. And continue denying how much you want me.”
I gulp.
Yeah, that about sums it up.
I brace for his rejection.
Instead, he huffs out a little chuckle, leans over, and murmurs in my ear, “I have no qualms popping your cherry, precious, any way you want it.”
I exhale a breath of relief.
Almost as an afterthought, he adds, “And who knows, maybe one day, I will end up as your husband.”
My insides explode at his offhanded comment, but I stifle it viciously.
This is the sex talking. He doesn’t really mean it.
He knows how much this moment means and he’s just trying to soften the impact of it. It’s almost sweet really, his attempt to comfort me. But a man like Lucian would never give up a perfectmafiewife like Roxie for a girl like me. I might have long harbored a fantasy of Lucian choosing little ole me over his fiancée, his family, and his clan, but that will never be reality.
He eyes me up and down carefully. “If you’re gonna be my dirty, filthy girl, then that’s how you’ll be treated, understand?”
I nod excitedly.
Yes. Yes, please.
“Hold your knees open for me.”
I hesitate for a moment.
“You gonna be a good slut for me, Star, or am I gonna have to hold you down to bust through that untouched cherry and make you bleed?”
Breath accelerating, my gaze is glued to him. Slowly, I bend my knees and grip the back of them, spreading wide for him.
He wraps a hand around my throat. I almost swoon.
“What will it be? Tell me, what are you going to be?” he prompts.
Oh, he wants me to concede, to own how much I want this. But I won’t play his game. No, this time, I’m calling the shots of how this goes.
I snap my legs shut and grip his hand, but instead of pulling it off, I press it tighter against my throat. “I’mnotyour good little slut.”
He gives a vicious laugh. “You want to play with me? You have no idea how that gets my blood pumping…”
His hold on my throat tightens. He tips my chin up and brushes a soft kiss against my lips. “Test me, baby girl. I’m going to tame you yet.”
In the blink of an eye, he grabs my wrists and loops them above my head. Snagging my bra, he expertly ties my hands.
Oh my God.
Pushing my bent leg to one side, he gives me a hard smack on the ass. Exalted, I shunt out a harsh exhale. Moisture gushes from between my thighs, coating them. I peek over my shoulder and see his handprint blossom against my pale skin.
