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In the midst of everything, though, was a sense of guilt, however.
She’d been given a chance to leave behind the life that had taken so much from her and her mom. She knew that many in their old neighborhood didn’t have that option. They had to make the best of their lives there. They had no choice.
And there were those who managed to not just survive that life but thrive in it. They raised children who didn’t get caught up in the gangs the way Misha’s father and brother had, and those children had gone on to live successful lives.
Things had calmed down for Misha and her family after their dad had gone to prison to serve a life sentence for his gang activities, shortly after Raden had been born. But then he’d been killed by a rival gang member in the prison.
They hadn’t been able to leave the neighborhood, and despite her mom’s best efforts, Davontae had been pulled into the gang life. He’d been fifteen years old when their dad had died, and anger, grief, and a desire for revenge had been a bad combination for him.
It had been Davontae’s rise through the gang’s ranks that had taken things from bad to horrible for the rest of them. His eventual high rank had placed a bullseye on their family, leading to Raden’s death at nineteen.
Perhaps it was the trauma of it all that prevented her from looking much past a day or two into the future. They were all too aware that things could change in the blink of an eye.
But they weren’t in Atlanta anymore. So maybe it was okay for her to dream and plan for a future.
“I’ll try not to bug you about this,” her mom said. “I understand why you didn’t date any of the nice men you met in Atlanta, but that isn’t an issue here. There’s nothing stopping you from having a personal life now, instead of just focusing on work and Ciara.”
“I know, and I’m not saying no to a relationship, but I need to focus on settling into the clinic first. Then… who knows.”
Her mom smiled at her then, and Misha was so glad to see that the tension she usually carried had basically disappeared. Doctor Martin would be so pleased.
“And you know, I’m not the only single woman in this family,” Misha reminded her.
That made her mom laugh. “I’m more than happy to leave the dating to you. I’m far past the dating age.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. There’s no age restriction on dating as far as I know.”
“There should be,” her mom said. “Just so you don’t harass me about it.”
“Well, I’ll make a deal with you. I won’t harass you about dating if you don’t harass me.”
“That sounds more like a threat.”
Misha shrugged. “Take it as you will.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I had to get it from someone.”
“I’ll pin that one on your dad, then.”
It was rare that her mom mentioned her dad, but Misha didn’t latch onto it in order to get more information about him. That never turned out well, and more often than not, it left her mom upset. Maybe someday she’d talk about Davontae Barnes Senior, but Misha wasn’t banking on it.
“I’m thinking about doing some baking,” her mom said. “Maybe take some stuff to the neighbors.”
“I’m sure they’d appreciate that. Jay said he likes chocolate chip cookies.”
“Really? Well, then I’ll make some and you can take them to work. I need a few more supplies, though. I haven’t really stocked up on the baking essentials yet.”
“Did you want to go tonight?”
“Are you too tired?”
“Nope. I’m fine, as long as you think Ciara will be okay.”
Her mom looked over at the little girl, who was now wearing a lot more of the mashed sweet potato than was in the bowl. “Perhaps you can give her a quick bath and get her dressed in her pajamas. Then she’ll be ready for bed when we get home.”
“That’s a good idea.”
