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“Not sure if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t a huge number of non-Caucasian people around here. Back in high school, Janessa and I were the only ones in our classes. So, if I wanted to date, it was going to be a White girl.”
Misha could see how that might have been the case for the high school years. But did that apply to college too?
“Casey was athletic as well as smart, so we got along well when we first started dating. But then, after graduation, I went to Boise State while Casey went to Seattle for law. We were over thirteen hours apart, and it was a struggle to keep things going long distance. That’s when we broke up for the first time.”
“But it didn’t last?”
“Nope. We’d only been broken up a week when Casey said we should get back together again. It started a pattern. A couple of times, we ended up breaking up for almost two months, and that’s when I dated other women. And yes, they were White because that’s what the majority of the women around me were.”
Misha didn’t feel any more at ease than when they’d started their conversation. A part of her regretted having started it,but she knew she needed this information in order to make a decision on whether she dared risk a relationship with Jay.
The knowledge she’d gained of him during their friendship told him she could trust him, but these new revelations worried her.
“Here’s the thing,” Jay said. “I don’t date based on skin color. Like I said, I like smart and confident women. I’m not going to date a woman just because she’s White if she doesn’t have those qualities. And vice versa.”
“I’m sorry.” Misha sighed. “I didn’t mean to insinuate anything by my questions.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Jay told her. “I understand how my dating only white women might look to some people, but I hope what I’ve shared with you has helped to clarify things.”
“It has,” she said. “It was just hard to understand why you’d be attracted to me when you’ve only dated White women. I needed to know why I was the exception to that.”
“I can understand that,” Jay said with a nod. “I’m attracted to you because you’re smart and confident, and a big plus is that you’ve got a great sense of humor. You make me laugh and smile more than any other woman has. Do I think you’re beautiful? Yes. But that’s just icing on the cake for me.”
Misha stared at him. “How do I know that you won’t change your mind and go back to Casey again?”
“We broke up months ago,” he said. “She’s already tried to get back together a few times, and I’ve told her no. She kept bugging me, so I blocked her. Thankfully, she doesn’t live in Serenity, so she can’t bug me in person.”
“But she still showed up at the clinic.”
“Yep. Her family still lives here, so she does come back. I forgot that it was her and her mom’s birthday last week, and she always comes home to celebrate with her mom. She showed up to try to convince me to get back together again, and I said no. Again. Honestly, I should never have gotten back together with her that last time because my feelings for her had changed. But, at that point, it was just habit.”
“Your sister doesn’t like Casey.”
“No, she most certainly does not,” Jay said with a laugh. “None of my siblings do, to be honest. They are all very happy that I didn’t get back together with her after this last breakup.”
Misha wanted to be sorry that she brought up the subject, but now that they’d gotten to this point, she wasn’t. “Thank you for telling me all of this. For answering my questions.”
A smile briefly flitted across Jay’s face. “I hate talking about the stuff with Casey because it makes me look like a fool, but you have a right to know. Unfortunately, she’s already aware that we’re spending time together, so it’s entirely possible she might approach you at some point in the future.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes. She still has friends in town, along with her family, who have probably been telling her stuff. Just know that my feelings for her are dead, and they’re going to stay that way. There’s zero percent chance of that ever changing.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Glad and relieved.
“Also, I have only ever dated one woman at a time,” Jay added. “Any woman I dated other than Casey was while we were broken up.”
“You never had feelings for any of those other women?”
Jay shrugged. “There was never the chance to develop anything with them before she’d show back up to get us back together again. So I went with what I knew… who I knew.”
“I’m not meaning to lock you into anything so early on,” Misha said. “I just need to know I’m not wasting my time.”
“I’d like to think you aren’t,” he replied. “I have no intention of dating other women while we’re seeing where this leads. These past few weeks, as I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve found myself looking for excuses to spend even more time with you. If that’s what you want as well.”
Misha reached out and laid her hand on his where it rested on the gear stick. “It’s what I want too. I just needed a bit of reassurance that we were on the same page.”
Jay turned his hand over and threaded their fingers together. “Same book. Same page. Hopefully, even the same line.” He lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to the back of hers. Butterflies erupted in her stomach at the warmth of his lips on her skin. “So you’re up to planning another date?”
