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Misha wasn’t able to speak for several minutes as she cried out her heartache. Her mom sat beside her on the bed, murmuring a prayer as she held Misha.
When the first wave of emotion had passed, Misha spilled everything. She’d tried not to worry her mom with what had been going on, but she’d still picked up on the tension, so she didn’t appear to be shocked by Misha’s revelations.
“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” she said, exhausted by the toll her crying had taken on her. “I think I really hurt him, and that wasn’t what I meant to do. I just felt that if he didn’t want to confide in me, it would be better if he could just focus on whatever was happening instead of trying to balance it with our relationship.”
Her mom smoothed a hand over Misha’s curls. “It will be okay, darling.”
“I don’t know if it will be,” Misha whispered, her shoulder slumping. “What have I done?”
“This doesn’t have to be the end. You can still talk to him again. Once he’s had a chance to calm down. Or maybe you can show him in other ways that you still support and care for him.”
“Ilovehim, Mom. I don’t want to end things with him, but I think that’s how he took it.”
“How about you take him some cookies tomorrow? You don’t have to talk. Just show him that you’re not leaving him, but rather just giving him some space.”
Misha nodded as she stared down at her phone and the picture that had been on her lock screen for the past month. It was a picture of her, Jay, and Ciara, all smiling at Janessa, who had taken it. At the time, it had felt like a glimpse into what their future would look like.
Now she needed to cling to her earlier feelings and pray that there was a future that God still wanted for them.
“Don’t give up hope, darling,” her mom murmured. “God is still in control of everything. He knows what’s going on with Jay, so even if we don’t, we can trust God to work things out.”
Misha knew that was true, but fear had her heart in its grip.
She hardly slept that night, tossing and turning as she imagined all the different ways she could and should have handled things with Jay. When morning came, she was moving slowly, her heart still heavy and hurting.
“Here you go, darling,” her mom said as she set a container on the counter. “Take Jay his favorite cookies.”
Misha wasn’t sure that baked goods were going to fix anything, but they certainly couldn’t hurt. More than anything, she just wanted a chance to look into his eyes and let him know that she wasn’t going anywhere.
It was around eleven when she finally stepped through the back door of the clinic. She’d noticed that Jay’s car wasn’t in the parking lot, but she hoped that he’d just gone out for a bit. When she reached the door of his office, however, her heavy heart sank even further.
The room was dark, and there was no sign that he’d even been there yet that morning. Was he coming in late again?
“Misha?”
Turning, Misha saw Janessa hurrying down the hall to where she stood. “Isn’t he in today?”
Janessa bit her lip, and her gaze dropped for a moment. “He called Gareth last night to let him know he needed to be out of the office for the next couple of weeks. He said he’d be working remotely. He didn’t tell you?”
“I talked to him last night.” Trying to keep from crying again, Misha took a deep breath. “I think this might be my fault.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told him that I thought maybe we should take a break so that he could focus on whatever he was dealing with.” When Janessa winced, Misha nodded. “Yeah. I realized too late what that would mean to him. I didn’t mean I wanted a permanent end to our relationship.”
“It’s understandable,” Janessa said. “He’s been very distracted, and he doesn’t seem to be talking to anyone about what’s caused the sudden change in his behavior.”
“Not even Will?”
“I’m not sure. Gareth called Will last night after talking to Jay, but Will didn’t give any indication he knew what was happening.”
“I don’t want to lose… us,” Misha said. “I had hoped that I could talk to him this morning and explain what I meant. I even brought his favorite cookies.”
Janessa wrapped her arms around Misha. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s never been like this before. Just don’t give up on him.”
“I won’t. I love him, Janessa.” It felt wrong to tell Janessa that before she’d told Jay, but she needed her to know.
Janessa’s arms tightened around her for a moment before she stepped back. “I have been so happy to see the two of you together. Jay deserves someone who makes him happy the way you do.”
