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There hadn’t been a day since their last conversation that she hadn’t cried. But the night after hearing about that other woman, her tears had fallen harder and longer.
It had been hard to continue to send texts to him after that. But on the off-chance they were wrong about the significance of the woman, Misha didn’t want to have stopped reaching out. Her goal had been to show him that she was there for him.
And she would be until he told her he didn’t want that from her anymore.
If that happened, then she’d have to figure out how to go to work every day and see him without falling apart. They’d found a home in Serenity, and she was loath to give it up.
She was strong. She had to keep reminding herself about that.
She’d gone through all that was required to reach her goal of becoming a doctor. She’d endured the loss of her brother. She’d taken on the responsibility of a baby. She’d uprooted her family and made a new life for them in a new town with a new job.
She didn’t want to have to survive the heartbreak that might be coming her way, but if she had to, she would.
However, Misha knew that it wouldn’t be her own strength that would get her through what was to come. It would be the strength God gave her. Just like He’d given her and her mom the strength to deal with everything that had happened in Atlanta.
She firmly believed that—heartbreak or not—God wanted them there in Serenity. She just prayed that it would be with Jay by her side.
“Morning,” Aria said as she joined her in the breakroom. She gave Misha a hug before grabbing a mug from the cupboard. “Didn’t sleep well last night?”
“Not really. No.” Misha finished pouring her mug of coffee, then filled Aria’s.
“Janessa didn’t either,” Aria said. “She and Gareth are talking in the parking lot at the moment.”
Misha took a sip of her coffee, then stared down at the dark liquid. “I think I might have made a mistake in telling Jay we needed a break.”
Aria moved closer to her and rested her hand on Misha’s arm. “You did what you thought was right. And it’s possible that Jay did need to be able to focus on whatever caused such a major disruption in his life.”
“But what if it’s another woman?”
“I don’t think it is,” Aria said. “I’ve gotten to know Jay, and he’s an honorable man. If he wanted to be with another woman, he would have ended things with you first.”
Part of Misha felt that way too, but her mind was doing a great job of creating all kinds of scenarios. None of which were in her favor.
“When I ran away, it was because mistakes I’d made were brought to light, and I was ashamed and scared. It took me a little while to get up the courage to come back and try to fix things. Jay and Janessa stood up for me then, so yeah, I’m going to stand up for him now. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’mquite sure he’ll try to make things right with everyone, including you.”
Aria’s gentle words made Misha feel a little better, but nothing could seem to banish the fear that lingered in her heart.
Her mom had encouraged her to trust God to work things out, whatever the situation might be. However, Misha was scared that how she wanted it to work out and how God wanted it to work out might not be the same.
Her heart still clung to what Jay had said right before he’d hung up about not needing a break from the women he loved. She was sure he’d loved Casey, but did his words mean he also loved her? Her heart wanted that more than anything, but only time would reveal what he’d truly meant.
Gareth came into the breakroom, followed by Janessa, whose expression resembled a storm cloud. Over the past two weeks, her mood had vacillated between sadness and anger. Misha had also experienced the same mood swings, though her anger hadn’t been directed at Jay. It had been directed at herself.
“He better clearallthis up,” Janessa muttered as she stomped over to the coffee machine. “He better tell us everything and then buy me a bunch of chocolate to make up for having stressed me out like this.”
“Jay’s not going to buy you chocolate,” Gareth said with a laugh. “Unless it’s that super dark stuff that’s supposed to actually be good for you.”
“No. I don’t want that,” Janessa said as she poured coffee into her mug. “Normally I’m happy with chocolate from the grocery store, but now I want the fancy, expensive stuff.”
As much as Misha had been hurt by Jay’s sudden disappearance and silence, Janessa had been even more so. It had been pretty clear that she felt abandoned by her big brother.
“Did Will say what time Jay was due back?” Aria asked.
Janessa shook her head. “When I asked him that, he just said that Jay would make contact with someone once he was back.”
“I know you’ve wanted him to be in contact with you, Nessa,” Gareth said, “But we need to be thankful that at least he was talking to Will.”
Janessa didn’t reply, just dumped a bunch of sugar and cream into her coffee. More than she usually did. Misha was kind of glad to have company in her agitation about the situation. Gareth and Aria were much calmer. Misha didn’t know how the rest of the family was handling the situation, since she hadn’t been around them much.
