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I come out of the staff kitchen with a steaming tea mug. Caffeine is now off the menu, and lemon and ginger is today’s cure for the soul, with a splash of honey. It’s one of the few tastes I can still stomach without the urge of puking my guts out after every sip. I can only hope this pregnancy will get easier. Elliot, my sweet, sweet baby, was a nightmare.
I’m so deep in thought that I don’t even see Todd coming down the hallway, but when I do finally see him, I freeze on the spot.
“Hey,” he says, his brow furrowed as he eyes me closely.
He looks so good in his black suit, the white shirt and red tie sharpening his rugged features. He’s letting a five-o’clock shadow grow but I like it. It looks good on him in dark blond, even if it does darken his blue eyes a little.
“Hey,” I manage. “What’s up?”
“I’ve been looking for you all over the place.”
“I was just… back here,” I point a thumb over my shoulder. “Grabbing something hot to drink.”
“You don’t look so good,” he says.
I scoff. “Gee, thanks. You’re a tad shabby yourself.”
“No, I mean you look pale and unwell,” he says, then grabs my arm as I try to walk past him. The move forces me to stop so as not to spill any of the hot tea I’m holding in my other hand, but I do curse under my breath, prompting him to withdraw his hand. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I haven’t been able to reach you in the past few days, and I don’t know how you’ve been.”
“I’m fine, Todd. I just have a lot of work, and a lot on my mind, too. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
I’ve gotten pretty good at lying since this whole John Douglas-Mackie thing; I will give myself credit where it’s due. But Todd shakes his head at me, not buying my response. “Nonsense. I have every reason to worry about you. Becky, something happened to you, I can tell. Why won’t you talk to me about it?”
“There is absolutely nothing to talk about, Todd. I promise I’m okay.”
“I’m not the only one who’s noticed,” he insists. “Piper saw you get sick the other day.”
“Oh, good grief,” I groan with frustration. “Can’t I have a couple of bad days without everybody hovering over me?!”
“We’re worried about you,” he says. “I’mworried about you.”
“And I am telling you once again that I am fine, Todd. It’s just a hard week, that’s all. Nothing I can’t handle on my own, and I have handled plenty.”
He shakes his head slowly, his gaze softening as it lingers on my face. “You don’t have to handle any of it alone.”
“Really, Todd? Why, ’cause you’re gonna be sticking around, you’re gonna stay by my side?” I retort, genuinely irritated and lashing out. The nausea is amplifying every sliver of discomfort that’s currently pinning and needling my stomach. “No, you’re gonna sell the company and go away, Todd. You said it yourself. The East Asian tour first, Thailand, specifically. Then a US tour. One continent at a time. So, really, don’t worry about me—I’m fine. I will be fine. Just let me know when and where we’re meeting with John to sign your stupid papers, and we’ll be done with this whole thing. You’ll get your freedom back, and everybody will be happy.”
I don’t wait for him to respond. I walk away, each stride wider as I seek to put as much distance between us as possible. Tears keep pricking my eyes, but I can’t let him see me. He wants something out of this and it’s not me. It’s John’s money and assurances that the company will be safe under his helm.
The rest of the day unfolds in a continuous state of discomfort. I know Todd has Piper coming downstairs more often than usual, if only to keep an eye on me. Vincent keeps asking me if I’m okay, and I keep smiling and telling him I am, indeed, very much okay and to get off my frickin’ back. Once I’m done with the new features proposals, I send all the files over to my superiors for approval then grab my bag and walk out of the building.
It's only when I reach my car in the parking lot that my knees finally buckle, and I drop like a fly. Sweat drips from my face as hot and cold waves wash over my body. It’s not nausea, it’s something worse, and the pain in my lower belly has me moaning and terrified of what might come next.
I’m not ready for any of this, dammit. I am not ready to have my heart broken all over again and raise another child in the aftermath. I’m still raising the first one!
“Becky, hold on!” I hear Vincent exclaim as he rushes over to me.
“I’m… I’m okay…”
“No, you’re not, you stubborn woman. I’m taking you to the hospital!”
“No one can know,” I manage to say before everything turns white.
I don’t want Todd to know. That is literally my last thought before I slide into unconsciousness. It’s all I can do as my mind shuts down and my body demands my full attention. I’ll get to it in a minute or two. I need to rest for a bit first…
* * *
The sound of a monitor beeping pulls me back from the darkness.
