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Funny enough, Tamara beat them both to it.
“When were you going to tell me?” he asks finally.
“Soon. I was still looking for the right moment.”
“I don’t mean to offend you, but are you sure—”
“Yours. You’re the only man I’ve been with since I split up with Elliot’s father,” I cut him off, unable to withhold the insult from my voice.
“I’m sorry,” he sighs deeply. “I can’t even imagine how all of this feels. I should have been more careful. Becky, I’m sorry, I really am…”
I’m stunned and cannot take my eyes off him. I was expecting something a lot more belligerent than… this. “It takes two, Todd. I’m responsible as well.”
“True, but I’m supposed to be the gentleman. For me, procreation is easy. You’re the one who has to go through the whole process, to give birth, to have your body change in such a dramatic way.”
“Yeah, with one—imagine what a load of fun it’ll be with five,” I chuckle dryly, then gasp. I didn’t even realize the words came out until they were out, and now Todd is staring at me like I just took a sledgehammer right to his family jewels.
“Five?”
“I’m so sorry…”
“Five babies? Are you frickin’ kidding me?!” he blurts out, then runs a hand through his hair.
“You’ve got twin genes in your family, I’ve got twin genes running in mine… Todd, they did tests and ultrasounds to make sure. The egg split into five, and… well, provided everything goes smoothly, I will be carrying five little ones to term.”
“This is insane,” he manages.
“I’m the one who has to—”
“Carry them to term, yes, I know. But holy hell, Becky, five. Five! You can’t possibly do this on your own. You can’t possibly raise five more children on your own. You have Elliot, too.”
I can’t help but feel a tad irritated, my cheeks burning red. “I’m having these babies. There’s no argument about it. That is my decision, and it’s final.”
“No… I… I get it, I understand and I respect your decision. But you can’t do it alone.”
“I don’t expect you to get involved,” I shoot back. There it is; my hyper-independence kicking back into gear when I need it the least. “I can do this. I’ve got sisters, I’ve got a loving and supporting family, and you’ve already provided me with plenty of financial aid to not only help my parents but myself. It’s going to be okay; you don’t have to worry about anything.”
He laughs bitterly, shaking his head in dismay. “I’m not leaving you to deal with this on your own. These are my children you’re talking about.”
“Listen, you go on your travels and do whatever you want to do with your life. I don’t need you to put anything on hold for us, okay? It’s not fair to you, and in the end it won’t be fair to me, either. Not to me, not to them, not to anyone, for that matter,” I say, my blood boiling. “You already have a plan and you’re going to stick with it. I will never forgive myself if you ever get held back because of me.”
“Becky, this is more than just a simple hiccup or a twist of plans.”
“Like I said, I will handle it. If you wish to provide any financial or logistic support, I’d be a fool to refuse, but anything other than that is out of the question,” I tell him as the car finally pulls up outside my apartment building. “I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do. We’re not together. We’re not a couple. We’re not married. We don’t owe each other anything.”
“Hold on…”
“No, that’s the end of this conversation.” I pull away as he’s about to take my hand, slipping out of the back seat in the blink of an eye. “You go live your life, Todd. In a couple of days, you’ll be selling the company and moving on. Don’t worry about me.”
I turn away and rush into the building, desperate to hide the tears in my eyes. The pain searing through my body is more than I can bear, and the fact that I’m already hungry less than an hour after I practically inhaled an entire charcuterie board only serves to amplify the worst aspects of my current emotional state.
I’m heartbroken and lonely as hell, going up to my apartment so I can hold my son and tell myself that it’s going to be okay while I cry into a tub of peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream. I am in love with a man I can never have. I would never forgive myself if he gave up on any of his dreams in order to look after me or these kids. I know I said it takes two to make them and it should take two to raise them, but I’m the one who decided to go ahead with this.
I’m the one who wants to carry and give birth to the children of a man who already has my heart. He will forever have my heart, even long after he’s gone, so the least I can get out of this hot mess are five living pieces of him, five humans to raise and offer to the world in hopes that they’ll make it better and easier somehow. It’s all I can do to keep my shattered heart from splintering beyond repair.
CHAPTER23
TODD
