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As it was, it took me days to work up the courage to go over and apologize after what happened with Jack following the wild bison encounter. I’d agonized over what to do about that, because on the one hand, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I needed to apologize for my behavior. But the other part of me struggled. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe Jack deserved an apology. I was embarrassed by how I’d behaved, especially toward someone who’d been responsible for keeping me safe from harm.
I was just grateful that by the time I’d managed to convince myself to do it, Jack had gracefully accepted my apology. He didn’t hold a grudge. Hell, he didn’t even seem to be the least bit annoyed when I showed up, and I could have completely understood if he’d had a reaction like that to seeing me.
“Thank you, again. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this for me tonight and for being willing to come back tomorrow.”
He let out a laugh, the sound causing an unexpected belly dip. “It’s not like I have to travel very far to get to you,” he reasoned.
As accurate as that point might have been, it still meant a lot to me that he was willing to take time out of his day to do something to help me, something that I imagined was rather labor intensive.
“Still,” I said. “It’s very kind of you to do.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he replied quietly in a voice that not only sounded genuine and sincere, but also made my heart flutter.
At that, Jack turned toward the door and moved to open it. I had the words on the tip of my tongue, ready to come out, and for some reason—likely self-preservation—I couldn’t bring myself to say them.
Then again, my track record for having quick reactions to apologize to this man hadn’t exactly been great. I made him wait three days to get one. The chances were that when it came to showing gratitude, it was going to take me even longer.
And I knew that was not a great thing.
I wished I could have changed it.
But the truth was that I’d have rather been embarrassed because I acted like a jerk to him again instead of needing to find a way to show him my thanks for looking out for me. Either way, the only thing that continued to become clear to me was that Jack was proving he wasn’t a self-centered, unforgiving man.
I didn’t know how to handle that without putting myself in a position I didn’t want or need to be in with any man right now.
So, I watched him open the door and walk through it.
And after the door closed behind him, I turned around and looked at my fireplace. Jack had come out in the cold, late at night, to fix a problem I didn’t even know I had. He was doing just as he said was necessary when living out here.
He was looking out for me.
While I’d already questioned my ability to be able to do the same for him, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering who had looked out for him before I arrived.
That’s when I realized that Jack wasn’t a man who needed looking after in the way he was doing it for me. Jack was a man who was looked after by the women who came to his place occasionally, ever since I’d arrived here.
Drawing that conclusion, one thing became apparent.
I’dneverbe able to look out for Jack and return the favor.
FIVE
Dakota
This was a bad idea.
There wasn’t a single question in my mind about it. What I was doing right now was a very bad idea, even if it was the right thing to do.
Jack had done a lot for me over the last two weeks or so, and what he’d tackled for me had been no small feat. He hadn’t done the typical neighborly things, like shoveling a pathway in the snow or offering me a cup of sugar.
Nope.
Jack went big.
Jack rescued me from wild bison.
Jack made sure my cabin didn’t catch on fire.
Jack cleaned out my chimney, so I could safely heat my place again.
