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“What you went through was not easy. We get that. But just because things are turning out differently than you thought they would, doesn’t mean that you should hold yourself back. If you’re interested in her, you should pursue her,” Dylan urged me.
“There’s a big part of me that wants to, but I’m hesitant,” I admitted.
“You don’t feel ready?” Carson asked. “I think the fact that you’re interested in her says a lot about what you might be ready for.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. It’s not me. It’s her that I’m worried about,” I explained.
Curiosity washed over their faces. “Why is that?”
“I don’t know yet exactly what it is, but I’m relatively certain she’s not looking for a relationship. In fact, I think the idea of a relationship would terrify her right now,” I shared.
“She told you this?” Dylan questioned me. “Have you already tried to pursue her?”
“No.”
“So, how do you know that’s the case?” he wondered.
I inhaled deeply, recalling all that I’d experienced in conversations with her from the first to the one we had just two days ago. Images of her face danced in my mind, and that’s when I said, “Because she’s right where I was years ago.”
There was no missing the reaction both of my brothers had. Their bodies had tensed up before Carson asked, “Do you think she went through something similar?”
I wouldn’t wish what I’d gone through on my worst enemy. Not at all. “I hope not, but I can see all the hurt there. She moved here three months ago, spends nearly all of her time cooped up inside, and her emotions are all over the place. I’ve seen her angry, scared, nervous, and struggling to smile. I know what all of that feels like.”
Carson smiled. “So, who better to help her through whatever it is than you?”
Chuckling, I retorted, “I think I need to convince her to be willing to be in my presence for longer than five minutes if I’m going to make that happen.”
“But you think it’s something you want to do?” Dylan pressed.
Was it?
On the one hand, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more than to try to help her through whatever she was dealing with, but on the other hand, I had to admit that I had my concerns about it.
When I’d been in her position, I’d had people around me who tried to offer me the support I needed, but the truth was that it rarely helped. I needed time. I needed to be okay with being on my own again.
But I wondered if this could be different for her.
Because where I had people who were close to me, people like my family, checking in on me, Dakota didn’t seem to have anyone. She’d mentioned her best friend once, but beyond that, I hadn’t seen anyone come to visit her.
If the roles had been reversed and she’d been in that cabin next door to me when I moved into mine, I questioned if she might have made it possible for me to get to a better place much sooner.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“I think you do,” Carson insisted.
He was right. I did know. The truth was, I was worried.
Could I put myself in a place where I might want to try for more with her, only to be rejected? After all this time, after everything I’d gone through, I wasn’t sure how I’d handle that.
But if I was wrong, and she opened up to me, what did I stand to gain?
I didn’t know her that well to be sure that it was a good decision to make. But there was no question that the promise of her made it all seem worth it.
And if I was right about her, would I find something more than just the peace, solace, and acceptance I’d found recently?
I thought it was worth taking a chance on.
Nodding, I confessed, “Yeah, I do. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about it. I didn’t think I’d want this again. I didn’t expect her.”
