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I shrugged. “It is what it is.”
Jack looked like he had more he wanted to say on the subject, but for some reason, he decided against it. Instead, he urged, “Well, why don’t you tell me about this grandma of yours? It’s obvious she taught you how to bake, but I’m guessing she didn’t give you much instruction when it comes to wild bison, correct?”
At that, I burst out laughing.
Any of the tension and bitterness I felt recalling my childhood and the lack of a priority that I was for my parents faded away.
I loved that Jack saw how it was affecting me and found a way to make a joke.
I went on to tell him all about my grandma and the things she did teach me, which, sadly, did not include how to handle an encounter with a wild bison.
We moved on to dessert, something Jack couldn’t seem to stop raving about. He even told me how he nearly got into a brawl with one of his brothers, who kept trying to eat the cookies I’d made for him.
I promised Jack I’d make him another batch if he liked them so much, but he insisted I make something else. It wasn’t because he didn’t enjoy them, but because he wanted to experience all of the wonderful recipes that Grandma Blake had taught me.
By the end of it all, I found myself really struggling. The entire evening had been wonderful on the surface. I was certain Jack and I could both walk away from it feeling good about how well it had gone.
But the time had arrived.
Where was the night going to go next?
Jack had been looking at me for the last few seconds in a way that had me wanting to do nothing but climb on top of him so I could kiss him.
But that wasn’t smart.
I knew it would be a mistake. Maybe not initially, but eventually.
Plus, even if Jack might have been giving me some signals, I didn’t have complete confidence that he was interested in something other than friendship. I’d be mortified if I’d attempted anything, and he turned me down.
In an effort to protect my heart, I decided I had to do something that I might have not have really wanted to do. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner tonight, Jack. I had a lovely time.”
“You’re welcome, Dakota. I really enjoyed myself as well.”
He enjoyed himself.
Just like he had the day we’d played in the snow.
No. No, I wasn’t going to get ahead of myself. That’s just what someone would say in each of these instances, especially given what I’d said first.
So, I replied, “I’m glad.”
“Maybe we can do it again sometime,” he suggested. “We could plan a day of snowshoeing or snowmobiling together. Then we could have dinner and dessert afterwards to warm us up.”
At his words, my body tensed. He wanted to do something with me again.
Maybe I wasn’t wrong about those few signals he’d given me. Perhaps Jack was interested in more than friendship.
I couldn’t be sure. I certainly didn’t know if I could handle anything more than that. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t take the time to find out, right?
Oh, God, this was probably going to be a mistake.
I should have said no.
I should have told him this was a one-time thing.
I really wanted to turn him down.
But I also really wanted to say yes. I really wanted to lean into this friendship we were forging. It was nice having someone around. I craved being around people, and being around Jack gave me some of the companionship I’d been longing for.
