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Even as he gutted me with each and every one of his words, he never raised his voice to me. Not the way Tom would have. Jack emphasized the words he needed to emphasize, but he did it only to get his point across. Coming to that realization, I was beginning to feel guilty for having reacted the way that I did.
Maybe it was wrong.
Maybe I’d taken the cowardly way out.
But I did what I had to do to protect myself. And I needed to continue to do what was necessary to make sure I didn’t get hurt any worse than I already was.
So, I made it official.
“I was sitting naked in your bed when I saw a car turn onto your driveway,” I shared, my voice calm and steady. “I’d seen that car come to your cabin before. In fact, I’ve seen that car and several others come to your place ever since I’ve moved here to Cottonwood. It’s always a different woman, and they always stay for a few hours before they leave. It’s not hard to figure out what’s going on, Jack. And I’m not judging you. You’re free to do what you want with whomever you want. I just can’t be a part of that.”
Jack’s eyes narrowed on me, and for the first time since our encounter after the bison incident, he seemed genuinely angry. “Are you fucking serious?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
Jack shook his head back and forth as disgust and disappointment marred his handsome features. “You know what? I was wrong. I thought you were worth the risk, but I made a mistake. The bottom line is that you believe because you had some asshole screw you over that everyone else will, too. So, it doesn’t matter what I want. It doesn’t matter if you were the best thing to come into my life after what I went through all those years ago. You’re set on keeping your heart under lock and key, so what I feel for you doesn’t matter. You’re never going to let me in. At least you’re not going to do it when you aren’t delirious with a fever.”
With that, Jack turned around again, moved toward the door, and opened it. But before he walked away, he took one last look at me and shared, “For the record, those women you’ve seen coming to my place over the last several months have been doing it ever since I moved back to Cottonwood. They do it because they’re worried about me. And they feel that way because they’re my sisters.”
A moment later, having delivered that news, Jack was gone.
FOURTEEN
Dakota
When my ex-husband left me alone to go and spend Christmas with his family, it killed me. It was, by far, one of the most emotionally painful experiences of my life.
But even the pain I felt in that situation didn’t compare to what I felt now. This was just awful, and I had nobody to blame except for myself.
I had assumed the absolute worst about Jack, and everything I thought I knew about him prior to actually meeting him and getting to know him had been untrue.
It had been three hours since Jack left, and I’d never felt more regret in my life.
So, there was only one thing for me to do now.
I had to fix it.
I had to find a way to apologize and get Jack to see that I truly felt remorseful.
Because I did.
But I had to admit that I was nervous about it.
He didn’t need to forgive me. The idea that he might not want to speak to me ever again weighed heavily on my heart. It hurt so much to know that I’d caused him any pain.
Because that’s what I’d done.
I’d hurt him, and he hadn’t done a thing to deserve it. In fact, he’d done the very opposite. He’d looked out for me, and he took care of me. He had been gentle and patient.
Jack deserved so much better than he’d gotten from me, and it was the sins of my ex-husband that had led me to treating a good man in the most horrible way.
I didn’t know if there was anything that could make up for what I’d done to Jack, but I was hoping that a decadent dessert might help convince him to forgive me and give me another shot.
Even if Jack couldn’t bring himself to be with me the way we had been this morning, I didn’t want to lose him in my life completely. I’d learned long ago—with very recent reminders only a few months ago—just how hard it was to find good people who cared.
He was right.
Fear of repeating the same mistakes had forced me to keep my heart under lock and key, and it was going to be a constant uphill battle for him from the start.
