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First, he didn’t look the part of the kind of guy I typically dated and eventually married. And I couldn’t say that was the result of being able to see what he looked like. Aside from the fact that I knew he was tall, it was difficult to really get a good look at him. The weather was brutally cold, so anytime he was outside, he was covered from head to toe.
The reason he didn’t look the part of the kind of guy I went after was because he did things like chopping wood, caring for animals, and maybe even wrangling bison.
Neither Tom nor the two boyfriends I’d had before him could do any of those things. At least, I hadn’t ever seen them do those things.
Especially not Tom.
He’d grown up in a wealthy family. Extremely wealthy.
Hard, physical labor just wasn’t something he had ever done.
But beyond this man’s physical capabilities, there was one other thing about him that I just didn’t think I could bring myself to look past.
In the time that I had been living in this cabin, I’d seen no less than four different women show up to his cabin. Each woman had come by his place at least twice, with one woman having made her third appearance there just yesterday.
While I wasn’t inside that cabin to know for certain what was happening, it wasn’t that difficult to figure it out. The women generally arrived in the evenings right around dinnertime. They stayed for a couple of hours, until they were sent on their way.
Sometimes, they left looking happy.
Most times, I could see the look of frustration on their faces. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that it was likely they wanted more from him than he was willing to give.
And truthfully, who could blame the guy?
I mean, he had all these women at his disposal. Women who didn’t seem to mind trekking out in the snow just to have a few hours alone with him.
He was taking advantage of what they were clearly willing to give him.
A man with a revolving door of women just wasn’t something I was interested in being part of. I could be content to sit in my cabin and watch him from the window as he chopped wood.
“I’m not suggesting you run out and get married, Dakota, but what would be the harm in having a little fun?” Waverly questioned me.
“Nothing. I’m not against fun, but I’m being completely honest when I tell you that I’m really enjoying myself now,” I insisted.
Silence came through the line. The only time that happened was when my best friend had some thoughts about something and wasn’t entirely sure if it was a wise idea to share those thoughts.
“What is it?” I asked, not wanting her to hold back from telling me something she believed I needed to hear.
Waverly audibly sighed before she shared, “I’m worried about you. I know you’re telling me that you’re okay, but you’re alone out there. The last thing that pushed you to proceed with filing for your divorce from Tom is because he left you alone. I don’t like the idea of you being all by yourself, and if I thought you were going to lock yourself away, I might have given you different advice two months ago.”
She wasn’t wrong about what I was doing.
I was locking myself away.
A big part of that was self-preservation. If I kept myself secluded, I couldn’t be hurt again.
But the other part was that I had to learn to be okay with it. I had to accept that even if I knew I’d always have Waverly and her family in my life, I would still ultimately be alone. It didn’t mean that I wouldn’t ever go out, but for now, I was doing what I could to get used to the idea of being on my own.
Maybe I needed to give her something more than I was giving her. “It’s not easy,” I started. “I won’t lie and say that it’s all been good. I have some bad moments. It’s difficult falling asleep at night, knowing I’m by myself now. I think that’s what I hate the most. I hate trying to go to bed at night, unable to stop myself from accepting my reality.”
“It’s going to get better,” she assured me.
I nodded as I continued to stare at my neighbor. He had moved huge logs from the trunk of the massive tree he’d chopped down to a spot where he was setting them up to chop them.
God, he was strong.
He didn’t seem the least bit affected by the size of the logs, even though some looked to be about a hundred pounds.
“I know it will,” I replied quietly.
