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“Here. Have a seat. You want something to drink? I got bottled water. Beer. Soda if you want it. Milk?”
“Water’s fine.” I sat on the edge of the sofa, twisting my hands together in nervousness.
He brought a bottle of water and handed it to me. I fumbled with the lid but gulped down a quarter of the bottle before setting it on the coffee table. Not only did I suddenly realize how thirsty I was, but I wanted to use anything I could to delay this conversation.
“Better?” He sat next to me and took my hand gently.
“Yeah.” I cleared her throat. “Do I have to do this?”
“Why don’t you want to tell me? Ain’t askin’ for a therapy session. This is part of you. I need to know this to be able to proceed with a relationship with you. The very last thing I want to do is frighten you or hurt you because I don’t know what you went through.”
I sighed. “Can I ask you a question first?”
“Anything, baby.”
“Why me? You could have any woman you wanted. That woman at the restaurant was sure interested.”
“Don’t want no one else. As to why? It’s hard to define. At first, I felt protective of you. I knew you’d been through something and had no idea what. But I saw how hard you were fighting to break free of… something. You fought for what you wanted. You fought to protect your sister even as you knew she was struggling with being here, away from everything familiar. You did it because you knew it was what she needed. Somewhere in there, I realized you were the perfect woman for me, because you’d protect your family no matter what. You’d see to their well-being, even if it meant pushing them outside their comfort zone.” Roman’s words were so emphatic and strong I knew he wasn’t lying. Everything he said was truly how he felt. How he saw me.
My lips parted on a gasp and my eyes got wide. “You really see me like that?”
“Absolutely, Winter. I told you before. You’re one of the bravest people I know. And considering I was a Marine, I don’t say that lightly. Now. You told me that your father was the one who gave you to the men who scarred you. You also said you killed him yourself. What about the men who did this? Did Black Reign take care of them too?” Now, Roman looked more like a killer. I knew he was the enforcer for Iron Tzars, but I hadn’t really seen it often. Now, the enforcer was front and center.
“No. Not that I know of. I don’t even have a clue who they were, and the only person who knew is dead. It was thirteen years ago. I’m not sure I could even remember what they looked like.” I turned away from him. “All I really remember is the pain.” I shook my head slightly before adding softly, “And the blood.”
“I take it they were sadists?”
I shrugged. “No clue. They just liked cutting us. I think they liked the blood for some reason.” I couldn’t help the shiver as I remembered the feel of the blood covering my body. Both mine and my sister’s. “There were two of them, but only one of them actually had sex with us. The other just… I don’t know.” My ears roared, and the room spun. I thought I whimpered but wasn’t sure.
His body sliding over mine. His arms wrapped around me as he moved against me…
“Fuck.” Roman lifted me in his arms and hurried across the room. The next thing I knew, I was in front of the toilet. Roman held my hair back while I retched over and over again, what little I’d managed to eat coming up in a violent rush.
A cool cloth wiped over my forehead, and Roman spoke to me in soft, soothing words. “I’ve got you, baby. No one will ever hurt you again. I swear it. Take a breath for me.”
I gasped for breath, closing my eyes and concentrating on the wet cloth brushing over the skin of my face and neck.
When I was sure the nausea had passed, I sat back, collapsing against Roman. He reached out and flushed the toilet and handed me a glass of water from where it sat on the vanity.
“There. It’s over. You’re OK. I’ve got you.”
“I’m so sorry, Roman.”
“Honey, there’s nothin’ for you to be sorry for.” With infinite gentleness, Roman pulled me into his arms and held me. Much like Brick was doing with Serelda when we left them. “Maybe this was a bad idea. I need to know, but…”
“No. I get it now. If something triggers me like this did if we…” I shuddered again, shaking my head. “No. I have to get this out. I see that now.”
So, sitting there in the bathroom with me sitting between Roman’s legs as I clung to him, I took a deep breath and began.
“There was blood. So much blood.” I swallowed back the nausea threatening to bubble up again. “They paid my dad extra to be able to cut us. One of them said he liked blood play. I don’t think Dad expected everything they did to us, but there was nothing he could do except double the price afterward. Taking us for medical treatment would have raised questions, and we were underage.”
Roman’s arms tightened around me, but he said nothing. Just kissed the top of my head and continued to rub my arm and back in a slow, soothing gesture.
“At first, they tied us down, so I don’t like being restrained. Or trapped, really.” I snuggled closer to Roman before I caught myself. “Actually, this is the first time I’ve been held by someone other than Serelda. There were brief hugs occasionally at Black Reign, but always by the women. I don’t like men touching me.”
“But you’re OK with me holding you?”
I looked up at him and nodded. “Yes. It’s comforting. And I liked it before. You know. When you kissed me.”
