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“It bothers me,” V blurts out, and PJ flinches. My granddaughter seeks out my comforting gaze. “You’re too clever, Penelope Jade. You know where your grandpas are. Uncle Jordan is your uncle only, okay?”
“But they’re not here. Why does Kendrick get a grandpa and I don’t?” My grandchild frowns.
Penelope Jade doesn’t know, but her words rattle me. I didn’t intend to think about Travis today. That’s a goal I wake up with every day.
Every day, I fail.
Every aspect of my life reminds me of my deceased husband.
Mymurderedhusband.
“Mom?” Valentina addresses me, and I find her curious gaze. Behind her, Penelope Jade fiddles with her tie, her cheeks rosy. “You’re going to be late.”
“Don’t chastise her for wanting a grandfather,” I urge my daughter. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Penelope Jade sneaks out of her mom’s shadow, and she comes up to me, snaking her arms around me.
“Be careful! No creases on the dress!” Valentina gasps, but I hug Penelope Jade back, uncaring if I look like a mess for the party.
“I love you, grandma!” When Penelope Jade decides she wants a hug, she gets it, but I’m careful how I touch PJ. Too much affection has resulted in meltdowns in the past, so we tread carefully. We can’t figure out why simple touches affect her so much, but we don’t experiment much on her either. We have doctors observing her, and her homeschool teacher gives us reports. It’s a delicate situation that I want to get to the bottom of. The only thing that calms me down is that every move my grandchild makes is recorded on camera. She hasn’t been inappropriately touched by anyone, and that is what matters to us the most. If anybody dared to hurt one of my babies, I’d raise hell on earth. I’d put myself in the line of fire.
Again.
My daughter thinks I don’t notice, but she turns away from us, pretending to be busy with the make-up on the marble countertop. I hear her faint sobs because they come from her soul.
“I love you, too. Help your mom clean up, all right? We’ll make a strawberry cake tomorrow, and you can have the biggest piece,” I tell her.
“Help me with my homework?” PJ pleads, but she doesn’t need any help whatsoever. She soaks up knowledge.
I nod.
After a quick hug with my daughter, I make my way out.
The clutch carry is light, with no phone or purse inside. I don’t need it. I’m on the palace compound, surrounded by family and… Friends? I don’t have friends. Cross women aren’t very sociable it seems.
I hold on to the clutch while I pass Kamila’s house. Weston and Mandy are staying here with Amalia for a short vacation. They like Kamila’s former home, but to me, it’s torment. The palace has changed, but nobody touches the queen’s former home. Everything inside of her home is as she left it, except for the newly added baby equipment.
Every morning when I used to go to the palace, I passed by Kamila’s home, wondering about her whereabouts. We were fucked and tortured by Aram regularly, but we didn’t see each other that often in scenes. Had she been hurt? Was she crying? Did she have anyone to comfort her?
Kamila despised me, and she had a right to.
I ruined her life.
Years ago, Aram Wraith gave me a choice between his daughter and mine. Who would I choose for him to torment? I protected my young child from this monster, and I chose Kamila. She was barely a teen anymore, but that was no excuse.
She didn’t deserve what happened to her in the next decade.
I’ll live with this guilt forever. It’s why I can’t blame my husband for stepping between Kamila and the bullets that were aimed at her that day. At last, Travis saved Kamila, as we had vowed to do.
I twist my face into a smile, a smirk. Something that won’t betray what I feel inside.
The route to the palace is quiet. No guests are allowed to park here, giving us our peace during palace events.
While there’s nothing going on out here, I can’t help the memories I’ve made.
Aram would enjoy this outfit too much. I can feel his eyes on me, feasting on my body and making up scenarios in his head.How am I going to humiliate Felicita today? What can I do to degrade her? Make her feel like she’s worth nothing? Nobody likes you, Felicita. You can’t even make your husband jealous because he doesn’t love you.
After years of training, I keep myself composed. Even if Jordan is watching me through the cameras, he can’t see the turmoil inside.
